


Memories of Old

by SilvermistAnimeLover



Category: HetaOni, Hetalia - Fandom, memory watching
Genre: Angst, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvermistAnimeLover/pseuds/SilvermistAnimeLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every nation has their hidden pasts and skeletons. But when a misfired spell hits Italy in the chest, it will all be revealed, as his (and his brother's) past is re-played for their fellow nations to watch. What have the Italy Twins been hiding? How old are they, really? What actually happened to the Holy Roman Empire? And why was Feliciano never supposed to have existed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**_ Prologue _ **

 

My name is Italy Veneziano, though my human name is Feliciano Vargas. I’m the younger twin brother to Italy Romano, or Lovino Vargas. I am the anthropomorphic personification of Northern Italy, and now considered the main personification of Italy. I’m happy-go-lucky, and highly oblivious. I love to paint, draw, sing, dance, play most instruments, and be around my friends. I am only as old as my nation. As a nation, I am immortal in every sense of the word; I cannot die from starvation or dehydration. If I _do_ die, I don’t _stay_ dead; I’d simply come back to life. I am immune to all direct illnesses, and can only be affected through my people. I do not age past my early 20s. I am weak, and cowardly, and only good at running away and making pasta (among other delicious foods). I am clumsy for no reason. I am stupid.

This is what everyone knows about me, but much of it is a lie. I am not the main personification of Italy; Romano is. After all, Rome is the capital, and Rome is _his_ heart, not mine. Venice will always be my heart. I am not oblivious, nor am I always happy. Much of my happiness is real, but there’ve been countless times when it’s been faked. And one cannot be a great artist if one is blind to detail. Romano and I are not actually as old as our nation, but _older_ —that’ll be explained later. While I _am_ immortal as any nation is, there’s one aspect of a nation’s immortality that I did _not_ receive—once again, that will be explained later. I am _not_ weak or cowardly. Romano and I run the Italian Mafioso behind the scenes. We rule our own underworld as a way to control crime in our nation. We’ve both killed many humans, and know how to fight, kill, and hide the evidence. I am clumsy for a reason. I am _not_ stupid—I secretly helped Galileo with his theories of the Sun being the center of the solar system, even when the church persecuted him; I secretly helped him continue his research. Leonardo da Vinci was my _best friend_ for decades, and we constantly worked together on many theories and theorems and paintings, and debated many things back and forth for _hours_ with topics that would make anyone else’s heads spin! I even helped him come up with the idea for, and design of, the helicopter and calculator! I had even _co-written_ _The Divine Comedy_ with Dante Alighieri. I am _not_ an idiot. I am _not_ stupid. Only Romano and I know the truth. We hoped that it would _stay_ that way, too, but it was not to be. My name is Italy Veneziano, AKA Feliciano Vargas; and I was never supposed to exist.


	2. Chapter 1: The Quake and A Spell

It all started at a seemingly regular meeting in Naples, Italy with 10 nations, and 12 representatives—America, Canada, France, England, Russia, China, Japan, Germany, Prussia, Spain, Romano, and myself. America was speaking about some bullshit that nobody was listening to (what? I actually have opinions too, you know) when it happened. The building started shaking, and everyone started panicking (though those of us who live in earthquake areas, such as America, Romano, myself, Japan, etc…, were much calmer) and the whole room dashed under the table.

Romano was seizing, as nations do when they suffer a major earthquake like this, and even I was feeling some of the ill effects (severe twitching and some bruising)—we _are_ the same nation, after all, but Romano’s more attuned to the southern region of Italy, while I’m more attuned to the northern region. As the shaking got worse, a loud groaning was heard just moments before the ceiling collapsed upon us. Luckily, the table was sturdy enough and held. I held Romano down as best I could so he wouldn’t hurt himself. I let Romano up when the shaking subsided. As the dust settled and everyone calmed down, we found ourselves trapped under the—thankfully rather tall—table.

“Is everyone alright?!” America asked urgently. “Italy, how’s Romano?”

“Ve~ He’s fine.” I answered, before Romano spoke up himself.

“Don’t answer for me, idiota!” He mock-glared at me.

“Ve~” I answered, using my verbal tic as a private way of telling Romano that I was there.

“Chigi.” He answered the same way. That’s why we developed them, our verbal tics. It’s a private way of telling each other that we’ll always be there for one another, and that we care. I couldn’t help the flash of angry, murderous green eyes in my memory, with the distinct sound of a knife cutting through the air… I mentally shook off the memory—now wasn’t the time for a flashback.

“Dudes, I don’t think we can move this. It’s too dangerous. I don’t doubt that we’re strong enough, but I’d rather not die by being crushed by a building, ya know? It kinda hurts.” America said, crawling back to our little misfit group under the table. Taller nations, like Germany, had to duck, while shorter nations, like myself and Japan, didn’t have to bend down as much. Russia had actually taken to lying on his belly.

Spain crawled over to us, and started babying Romano. It was so cute~

“Everybody is alright, right?” Germany asked, before verifying that everyone, indeed, was all right. “Right. Then let’s go over what we know. There was an earthquake.”

“ _Nooo_ , really?” America muttered under his breath, earning himself a glare from Germany and a chuckle from me.

“We cannot dig ourselves out, and our cell phones have no service.” He continued, as if he were never interrupted. That last piece of information, however, sent almost every pair of hands to their phones, mine included. Many colorful words in many different languages floated around me as everyone saw for themselves that there was no signal on _any_ of our phones.

“Aw man! I _knew_ I should’ve switched to Verizon!” America complained. “Stupid cheap knock-off. I don’t even have 3G! How am I supposed to play Five Nights at Freddy’s?!”

“America…” Canada sighed, but nobody noticed him, as usual. Kumajiro was staring at Romano and myself intently, making me uneasy. He never liked me. He could probably sense it… _I was never supposed to exist…_ The familiar words rang through my head. It wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t putting myself down or anything. It was a simple fact; I was never supposed to have existed. Northern Italy was never supposed to have been. Italy was always meant to be one country, never two. But I’ll explain about that later.

That’s probably why my friends almost died… If I’d never existed, I would’ve never heard those rumors… _Stop it!_ I thought to myself, _Don’t you dare go back into that depression! Wouldn’t want Yang waking up, after all…_ I shivered; Yang had been dormant for a number of years now, for which I was grateful.

“Damnit! Perhaps I could…?” England whipped out his spell book and started chanting in rapid Latin. Then France sneezed, causing some of the dust to fly into the air and England to start coughing, successfully butchering the spell. However, unlike when he usually messes up a spell and it becomes a dud, this time, a ball of soft green light flew right at me. Through the dust, nobody could see what was happening until it was too late.

The light hit me square in the chest, and was absorbed into me. I didn’t feel anything more than a warm tingling sensation. Everyone was frozen, more from shock than anything else. Before anyone could say anything, the light reappeared, only it looked different. It was now almost pure white, with tendrils of icy-blue and gold, as well as flecks of black and crimson. It then seemed to explode once in the center of the group, touching everyone with its light.

“What… just—?” America started, before he was cut off as a blinding white flash caused all of us to close our eyes and turn away. We felt, more than saw ourselves being pulled somewhere… If only we’d just been sent to another location… _If only…_


	3. Chapter 2: The First Memory

When we finally opened our eyes, we found that we were no longer underneath the table. We weren’t even in the building anymore! We were in a spacious field covered in an untouched layer of pure white snow. It was silent.

I sat up straighter, warily, expecting my head to bump the table. When it didn’t, I cautiously stood up, and found that we, indeed, were no longer in the destroyed Meeting Room. The others soon followed my example, standing up and stretching. It was then that everyone started to talk about where we were and what happened.

“Don’t look at me! I didn’t cast that spell! The spell I was casting was a simple communication spell to tell the others where we were and request help. I’ll look in my spell book to see if it might clue me in on where we ended up, though.” England said, thumbing through his little book of spells and incantations.

“Ah! I am not feeling the cold, da?” Russia said, causing us all to realize that we _weren’t_ cold. In fact, we weren’t even making footprints in the snow! America reached for a tree nearby, only for his hand to pass _through_ it.

“AHHH! I’m a _GHOST_!!” He cried, clinging to Canada.

I then saw something… an old tree. I cautiously walked forward for a better look. When I saw what was etched into it, I froze; my stomach dropped. My heart was beating rapidly in my throat as my blood turned to ice in my veins. “V-Vino…?” I called out, using the sacred nickname our mother used to call Romano. I only used it when I was truly terrified or in desperate need of his comfort.

Immediately, Romano was at my side, not even bothering to hide his concern. I didn’t spare him a glance, though, my were eyes glued to the etchings in the tree.

“What is it?! Are you hurt? Are you okay? Do you feel—”

“Look.” I cut him off, pointing to the tree-trunk with a shaking hand, leaning on Romano for support.

There, etched in the tree was a heart with the initials “E. F.” and “C. V.” Romano froze like me.

“H-how? Felice…” He rasped out, beyond shocked. The fact that he was using Mother’s nickname for me proved this, as he only used it when he was truly scared. “This tree was cut down over two thousand years ago…”

My eyes widened in realization. “Vino… I think… Doesn't this clearing look familiar?” His eyes widened in realization as well.

During some point, the group migrated over to us. “Dudes, what’s up? You look like you just saw a ghost or something!” America said.

“Maybe we have…” Romano whispered, still staring at the carving in the tree. He reached his hand out, only for it to pass through the trunk.

“Mon Cher! Are you okay?! You look as pale as the Italie twins!” France cried out, looking at England who was staring at his spell book in shock, his face a sheet-white color that almost blended into the snow.

“I… I found the spell… There’s no way I could’ve cast this… It hasn’t an incantation, and is an intent-only spell. You have to have known that it exists in order to cast it… But…”

“Just spit it out, already, aru!” China interrupted impatiently, but England didn’t seem to care. He looked up at me and Romano; to this day, I’ve never seen him look so apologetic.

“It shows the memories of the person who was hit by the spell…” He stated.

“Wh…what?!” Romano and I cried out in shock. It would explain the field, the tree, why we couldn’t touch anything, and why our nation felt so far away… But…

“Vino… I’m scared… I don’t want them to know…” I muttered to my fratello, who pulled me into a one-armed hug.

“I know… They won’t leave you, you know… I’ll always be here, Felice… And if they _do_ leave you, I’ll put the largest Hit in history on them.” He said, making my lips twitch in a small smile.

“Grazie.”

“Reverse it!” America cried out, his strong sense of justice wouldn’t let him watch something so private. Not without a fight, at least.

“I _can’t!_ ” England snapped, frustrated. “I didn’t cast the spell, and even if I did, there’s no way to reverse it once its target is hit!” He sighed in defeat. “The only way out of this is to watch the memories… All of them…”

“Do… Do we have to?” I asked in a small voice. I really didn’t want them to know my past; it’s private! And there were things in there that even Romano didn’t know about!

“I… I’m sorry. If there was any way…” England trailed off. In fact, all the nations looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Being immortal brings a sense of clarity to most nations. Everyone has skeletons in the closet. Everyone has secrets they don’t want anyone to know, _ever_. I’m no exception. I never was, and never will be.

“Then I suppose there’s no choice…” I sigh in defeat, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm myself.

“If _any_ of you bastards so much as _glare_ at my fratellino…” Romano let the threat hang in the air, but unlike when he usually threatens nations—which is usually just to keep up his fake ‘tough-guy’ act—there was an undertone to his voice that they’d never heard before. It was the same tone that he used in the Mafioso when he meant business.

Romano and I turned back to look at the Carved Tree. “This is where we were born.” I stated, sighing heavily. “Romano and I will explain most of the stuff going on, so you don’t get too confused. If you’re going to know, you might as well know the facts instead of coming up with crazy scenarios later.”

They nodded, looking a bit more comfortable now that they ‘had my permission’ to watch the memories, but nobody looked particularly happy.

“If you don’t mind my asking, where are we?” Japan asked tentatively, not recognizing the area.

“We’re near the Tiber River.” Romano said; looking off to the West, where we knew the river lay. “The year, is…” he hesitated for a moment. I nodded my head, encouraging him to continue, as I gripped his arm, giving him the support that only physical contact between twins could. “It’s 753 B.C.”

Multiple cries of “What?!” in various languages sounded throughout the clearing. “You’re older than me?!” Japan cried out uncharacteristically, more shocked about our true age than any of the other nations. After all, I’d always acted younger than even Germany. Of course they’d all believe us to be young and naïve.

“We were a premature birth. We came into this world long before we were supposed to. We came into existence before our nation even existed.” I said, further shocking the nations.

“In all my 4,000 years… I’ve never heard of such a thing happening, aru…” China said numbly, still trying to register the information.

Before any more could be said, there was a bright flash of white light right below the Carved Tree. When the light died down, there were two infants lying in a snowdrift wrapped in white blankets. The infants looked only days old at most.

With a shock, the others realized that those two infants were us. Nations had always appeared as toddlers or children— _never_ infants.

“But! How...?!” England stuttered out. Nobody seemed to be able to form a coherent sentence. The infants, uncomfortable in the cold, started to cry loudly.

A tawny Italian wolf silently stalked into the clearing to investigate the source of the noise. The nations froze, forgetting that the wolf couldn’t see them. She made her way over to the infants, and most of the nations looked ready to run to our infant-selves’ aid. She sniffed them for a bit, before curling herself around them, keeping them warm as best she could. She nuzzled them a bit as they finally calmed down and opened their eyes for the first time. Lovino’s eyes were a sharp green with golden specks, while Feliciano’s eyes (well my past self, but I’ll just refer to our past selves by our human names to avoid confusion) were molten gold all the way through. They looked up at the she-wolf, and innocently reached out and grabbed her fur. She licked their hands in an almost affectionate way. At some point, some curious foxes wandered by, and the she-wolf chased them off, protecting the young infants from becoming an easy meal.

“Huh… I wonder if we would’ve survived that? I mean, we weren’t full nations yet; our country didn’t even exist!” I wondered aloud, disturbing a few nations with how carelessly I spoke about permanent death.

“How should I know?” Romano replied easily.

“I’m just glad you’re both safe.” Spain said with a sigh of relief once the foxes were gone. Japan and Germany nodded their heads in agreement.

“I wonder… Would the legend of Romulus and his brother being suckled by a she-wolf have anything to do with you two?” England asked.

“Ve~ We’re the reason it was started. Rumors got around town that we were suckled by a she-wolf until… we were found. Anyways, with them hearing me call Vino, Romano, at least once, which sounds similar to Rome and Romulus, it must’ve gotten mixed up through time. It’s kinda funny, actually.” I said. Romano squeezed my arm comfortingly, still keeping me wrapped in a hug. My usage of his nickname didn’t escape him. He knew… He _knew_ I was scared… I didn’t want them to know… To know that I wasn’t a _full_ nation. Neither of us were.

After what seemed like about 15-20 minutes—and was probably hours in the memory judging by the sun’s position—Romano and I heard the distinct sound of snow crunching underfoot. By this point, the infant twins were asleep, as the she-wolf had suckled them when they’d cried out in hunger earlier.

We looked in the direction of the sound, along with the she-wolf. It took nearly everything Romano and I had to not burst out in tears when we saw her.

A young woman, in her early 30’s, stumbled through the snow. Her medium-length light brown hair and hazel eyes shined in the midday sun. She stopped when she caught sight of the wolf, clearly afraid.

Out of pure instinct, Romano and I fell into defensive stances, ready to defend her at a moment’s notice, before remembering that this was a memory, and that we couldn’t change anything. The others noticed our strange behavior, but didn’t say anything… yet.

“Shhh… Be still, oh free one.” She said in a rich, warm voice that brought tears to my eyes. Romano was nearly in tears as well. How many times had we wished to hear this voice again? Prayed for it? To think it would come from a silly spell… But she couldn’t see us… She couldn’t touch us… We weren’t really there. And that only made me want to cry more.

The wolf, on the other hand, had gotten up and stood in front of the infants protectively, as she stared at the woman with a wary gaze. Something sparked in the woman’s eyes, as she took another step forward, despite the growling she-wolf.

“Is that woman crazy?! She’s gonna get eaten!” America cried out.

“Hey! _Watch_ it! Don’t you _dare_ speak about her that way!” Romano growled out, almost sounding like a wolf himself. America took a step back in surprise, not expecting such a harsh reaction from Romano. I was even glaring at America a bit, surprising the nations as well. Luckily, America did the intelligent thing and apologized and backed down.

Apparently, the wolf had wanted this reaction from the woman, for she backed down, giving the woman a long stare, as if trying to convey a message of some kind, before running off in the direction she came from leaving the human woman with the infant twin nations, who had woken up at the she-wolf’s departure.

Taking immediate notice of the now crying twins, the woman rushed to them and gently picked them up in her arms, cradling them lovingly while looking around for signs of anyone else.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright, now. You’re safe. Where’re your parents? Are they dead? Oh, you poor things. It’s alright, I’ve got you now.” She hummed a bit as the twins finally calmed down, looking up at the woman curiously, even reaching out for a few strands of loose hair. “Now aren’t you precious? Tell you what; you can live with me from now on. You’ll need names, though. Let’s see… Hmm… For the one with green eyes… how about Lovino, after my father? Your eyes remind me of him. And the one with golden eyes… you can be Feliciano, after my maiden name, Felicia. Yes, Feliciano and Lovino Vargas. That sounds wonderful. Now, you must be hungry. How about I feed you some milk when we get home? Lucky for you, I’m not dry yet.” She explained to the oblivious twins as she walked back towards the river.

“This,” I start, trying to keep my voice from trembling, “Is Emma… Our mother.” A realization seemed to dawn on the nations. It suddenly made sense, why we were so protective of this human woman, and why we were acting so strangely around her. Very few nations ever had a mother figure, let alone an actual mother. America, Mexico, and Canada were lucky to have Native America, and Egypt was lucky to have Ancient Egypt. Romano and I were lucky to have Emma. “She’s a 32-year-old widow, who recently lost her husband and newborn child. She found us in the snow, and took us in as her own, even after she found out about what we were.” I explained, as Romano was too emotional to speak, staring off after our mother.


	4. Chapter 3: A Nation's First Tear

A little montage was shown of Emma raising us, as we grew older and older as the seasons changed. It didn’t show enough to really get a feel of individual interactions, but it was enough to show the love in the household. Finally, the memories slowed down to show Lovino and Feliciano—it’s so weird to talk about myself in third person—standing in the small living room, with a strong fire going, showing that it was cold out. Romano and I froze. We recognized _exactly_ what memory this was.

“Come now, Felice, Vino… What’s wrong?” Emma asked, concerned as the young twins, seeming to be about two or three, glared daggers at each other. The nations took in a deep breath; they could practically _feel_ the malice in the air. Though Lovino was glaring at Feliciano with murder in his eyes, Feliciano was only glaring at Lovino with mild annoyance.

“By the way,” Romano started, giving them a mild glare, which happened to be on par with his younger self. It unnerved the nations. “If _anyone_ calls either of us by those nicknames, you’ll _wish_ you weren’t immortal…” A few of the weaker-willed nations gulped.

“Why are you always fighting?” Emma continued, snapping everyone’s attention back to the memory.

Then, in eerie synchronization, the twins turned as one towards Emma, and with dead serious expressions said, in perfect harmony, “Because I/he was never supposed to exist.” Emma blinked, not expecting such an answer. And it wasn’t said out of spite either, but stated as a simple fact; as if someone had asked what color the sky was. It was almost painful to watch.

“Itary-kun…?” Japan asked worried. _Why would Italy believe that he wasn’t supposed to exist?_ He wondered. In fact, many of the nations were staring at me with intense concern.

“Feliciano? Did Lovino tell you this? Don’t believe a word of it. And Lovino! Don’t tell your brother such things!” Emma scolded.

“He didn’t tell me anything, mother.” Feliciano said calmly. “I just know it. We both do.”

“It’s a nation thing.” Lovino said.

“A… nation thing? You mean you just _know_ things?” Emma asked, obviously, they’d already told her what they were.

“Yes. But we were born early. Too early.” Feliciano said. “We don’t know everything we should. We know we’re immortal. We know what we are. We know who we are. I am North Italy, and Romano is South Italy. But that’s wrong. There’s not supposed to be two Italies. There’s only supposed to be one. I was the weaker one. Romano was supposed to absorb me. I was never meant to be born. I was never supposed to exist. That’s why he hates me. He’s not whole. We can never be whole, now. Neither of us can ever be full nations, because it’s split between us. We’ll always be naturally physically weaker than the others. Because I now exist, fate has been altered. Those who mess with fate have to pay a price… Momma… I’m scared… I don’t want to pay a price…” Feliciano’s calm demeanor suddenly broke as he started tearing up and crying into his mother’s shoulder.

The nations looked on in shock. Italy wasn’t supposed to exist?! But how?! Why not?! They tried to imagine a world without me, but they couldn’t. “Itary-kun…” Japan whispered sadly.

“It’s true, you know. Every word. Even the price.” I stated, glaring at the ground. How I hate my price. That price cost me not only _my_ happiness, but Romano’s too. It took Grandpa Rome… and Holy Rome… And I’m so scared that it might one day take Germany or Romano as well.

“Oh, Italien… Don’t you _ever_ believe that you weren’t supposed to exist. I don’t care what fate says, you exist, therefore you are _meant_ to be here.” Germany said, pulling me into a hug.

I stiffen in surprise at first, before letting the tears fall. Spain was hugging Romano in the same way, though he didn’t cry. _Must’ve been something else that he didn’t really get the chance to absorb from me before we were born…_ I thought to myself.

“Wait a minute… You hated each other?” Spain asked after a moment of silence.

“Well… I wouldn’t say we _hated_ each other…” Romano trailed off nervously. He really _was_ a dick to me when we were younger.

“Si… I followed him around everywhere… I’m sure I just annoyed him a bit…” I suggested as I wiped away my tears. I was trying to tone down our actions as children… Then again, how do you tone down your older twin brother trying to kill you on multiple occasions because you were never supposed to exist in the first place? Yeah… Somehow I doubt that they’d take _that_ well…

“You two are going to stop fighting, you hear me? I’m tired of you two trying to kill each other every time I turn my back!” Emma scolded both the twins.

“Okay, so maybe we hated each other a _little_ …” I admitted, “but I grew out of it by the age of 10! We’re only 2 here, but we start aging slower around 5 or 6.” I explain.

“And you Romano?” Spain asked, making Romano gulp.

“I… Uhhh… took a bit longer…”

Spain glared at Romano.

“Fine! Forty years, damnit! That’s how fucking long it took me to warm up to Feliciano, okay?! But I stopped trying to kill him by 25! Oh wait; there was that one time at the cliff… What were we, 32?” He admitted, as the nations glared at him.

“Stop!” I scolded, sounding quite a bit like Mom. “It was natural. Instinctual. He couldn’t help it! It was hard-wired into both of us! And he’s more than made up for it, so just leave him be! I tried to kill him a few times, too, so it’s not like he was picking on me.” I defended my brother, glaring at the nations harshly enough to make even Russia take a step back.

In a flash the scene changed. Feliciano was following Lovino through the forest, as Emma kept a close eye on the two. “Boys! Be careful! That storm yesterday made the ground muddy and slippery, so watch your footing! Lunch will be ready in about an hour!” She called out as the boys, who looked about 3 ½ or so, entered the forest.

“Yes, Mom!” They cried out in sync, before glaring at each other.

“Come on, Lovi~ Let’s play together!” Feliciano said happily, making Lovino’s glare darken even further.

As Lovino made his way further into the forest, Feliciano tried his best to follow him, but seemed to run out of breath a lot faster than Lovino. This worried the other nations. They were twins, right? So it couldn’t be a difference in age. And they were both nations, so Feliciano couldn’t be ill. Then again, no nation had been born prematurely before. _Never before_ had a nation been born before their country… So did that mean that the twins were more human than nation here? Could they die? The nations didn’t want to think such things, but the thoughts meandered their way in through the cracks and crevices of their subconscious minds.

The twins finally stopped by a muddy slope. “Lovi! Do you want to play now?” Feliciano asked as he stopped to catch his breath. Lovino didn’t say anything. He just turned and glared murder at his little brother, and tackled him to the ground, trying to get a strangle hold on him. Feliciano fought tooth and nail, his adrenaline pumping, as his survival instincts took over. They tumbled and rolled, scratching and biting viciously, drawing blood.

The nations stumbled, shocked at what they were seeing. They’d seen war and famine, murder and arson, you name it, they’d probably seen it. But to watch a three-year-old child attempt to murder his younger brother in cold blood was horrifying to watch.

They twisted and tumbled and rolled, each one trying to get on top of the other, either to kill or escape. Eventually, unable to see where they were going, they tumbled right off the slope, just as Emma, who’d heard the ruckus and came to see what the problem was, ran into the area. She watched, horrified, as the twins tumbled down. With a sickening crack, the memory went black.

“What happened?!” America asked urgently, worried for the twins, though Romano and I were right there.

“We broke our necks and died.” Romano stated with a shrug. “Our mother was scared to death. She hadn’t really seen any proof of our nationhood yet, so imagine her shock to find us both at the bottom of the slope, broken necks, not breathing… It scared her pretty bad. We were grounded for a month, remember that Felice?”

“Si… no desserts either… Worst of all I had to share my room with _you_ …” I tack on playfully, smirking at Romano.

“That’s _my_ line! _You_ were the one following after _me_ like a lost little puppy!” He shot back.

“Oh, like _you’re_ one to talk? Remember that time mom actually _got_ us a puppy? You chased poor Asher around for _weeks!_ There’s a reason he liked me more.” I quipped back.

“Shut up! At least when _I_ was 5 I had stopped wet—” I slapped my hand over his mouth.

“You _swore_ you’d never mention that again!” I hissed, as he smirked and licked my hand. “EWW! Gross! No licking!” I say as I childishly wiped my hand on his shirt.

“OI!” He complained, before we both broke out laughing. The nations just stared.

“Umm… Mon Cher?” France asked, unsure of how to handle the two of us being so open. Romano, especially, as he’d been very careful to never show anyone—not even Spain—this side of him.

“This is usually how we act in private.” I explained, “Since you’re going to be viewing basically my entire life, which encompasses a lot of Romano’s as well, I figure we don’t really have a reason to hold ourselves back any more. We don’t have to put up false bravado. On the other hand, it’d be near impossible to keep false appearances up anyways due to, also, what you’re watching.” I said.

Then, the next memory appeared. Mom was laying in bed, looking very ill. Romano and I pale as we recall this day. The day we nearly lost our mother. “We were roughly 7 at this time…” I said, gesturing to our younger selves, watching the doctor from a corner of the room. Lovino wasn’t even glaring at Feliciano. They were both too caught-up in what was happening. They looked about 6.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you…” He said to our mother. “The most I can do is make sure your children go to the proper place.”

“Thank you, doctor. My boys are strong… They’ll be fine. I’ll write up a Will for you soon.” She said, her voice weakened and strained.

The nations looked at us with pity and sorrow. “Mon Cher… I’m so _sorry_.” France said.

“Shut up.” Romano shot back with a glare. “Just watch.”

The doctor packed up his things, and started to leave, when Lovino stopped him.

“Hey! Wait! You’re supposed to make her better! Fix her! Make my mom better!” He demanded, angry and scared.

“Lovino… Come here. You too, Feliciano…” Mother called, using our full names. Lovino and Feliciano then went to Emma, the doctor leaving while he could.

“Listen, boys… I’m not going to make it.” She started, before Lovino cut her off.

“NO! D-don’t _say_ things like that! Y-you’ll jinx it!” Lovino had this desperate, hopeful smile on his face. “You’ll get better! Just like you always do! You can’t leave us yet!” He said, fighting back tears.

“I’m so sorry my sons…” Emma’s voice was soft. Quiet.

“NO!” Feliciano screamed, “You! You _can’t_ die on us! Please! Momma! You can’t leave us yet! We _need_ you! It’s not your time! Please!” He was ready to cry, already sniffling.

“No… I’m already 39 years old… I’ve long overstayed my welcome on this Earth. I’m just so glad that I could have two wonderful, beautiful sons like you… Thank you… Please grant me this one selfish wish after I go? Don’t fight any more. Love each other. Be brothers. Please…” The words were too much for Feliciano, as a single, heavy tear fell on her bare arm.

China watched with wide eyes as the tear was absorbed into her skin, the area glowing a soft golden hue for a split second. “It’s true…” He whispered to himself.

“NO! We won’t! You still have to be here for us! Please, momma… Please….” Feliciano trailed off, climbing into the bed and curling up next to his mother, Lovino doing the same, still not letting his tears fall.

The scene seemed to fast-forward through the night, and to the morning. The twins awoke to the doctor opening the door. They watched, fear shining in their eyes, as he gave their mother an exam to estimate how much time she had left.

After multiple checks and exams, he turned to Emma with this absolutely gobsmacked expression. “You… I don’t know what kind of miracle this is, but God isn’t ready for you yet. You’re well on your way to making a full recovery.” He stated.

“You mean, she’s gonna get better?” Lovino asked hesitantly.

“Yes.”

“MOMMA!” The twins cried in joy, flinging themselves into her waiting arms. She sobbed with relief.

“Thank you, doctor, thank you.” She cried.

“What the bloody hell happened?! Not that I’m complaining or anything, but she was dying just a few hours ago!” England said, utterly confused.

“I think… I think I know…” China said slowly. “I… I heard the rumors more than three and a half millennia ago, but I never thought that they were true…”

“What is it?” Romano asked, wiping away a few tears that had leaked out of the corner of his eye. I, too, was crying, but I didn’t really bother to wipe them away before facing the others. Romano and I had always wondered what sort of miracle occurred that night.

“It’s an old legend… A legend about the power of nations, aru…” China started. “Apparently, a nation’s first tear, cried for the pain of a loved one, has _tremendous_ healing powers, able to bring someone back from the brink of death.”

At his words, Romano and I eyed each other. If this was when _my_ First Tear was cried, then Romano’s must’ve been… _That_ day…


	5. Chapter 4: Chinks in the Armor

The scene changed again, only this time, it was snowing outside.

“Felice! Bundle up! Don’t want you catching cold, out there. Your brother might be fine, but we don’t want you getting sick!” Mom said, handing out a coat to a 7-year-old Feliciano. Romano and I paled at this memory.

“Getting sick? What is that about?” Germany asked, confused.

I flinched, grabbing onto Romano a little tighter. He sighed. “Honestly, if they didn’t reject you when they found out we aren’t full nations, they won’t reject you because of this. I’ll tell them mine, too, okay?” He asked me, placing his hand gently on my head, as I hesitantly nodded.

“Tell us what, aru?” China asked, suspicious.

“About the weakness… the chink in the armor…” I muttered.

“We both have one fatal flaw in our nation hood… in our immortality.” Romano stated, making many of the nations blanch.

“A flaw? In your _immortality?!_ ” America gasped, unable to comprehend it.

“Si. It’s the only way around our immortality. I’m weak against poisons and venoms. If I’m poisoned badly enough, or bitten by something with strong enough venom, I will die. And I won’t come back.” Romano said heavily, causing many nations to gasp. The concept of permanent death is foreign to most nations, at least, in regards to another nation.

“Mine is illness. I can get sick, like a human. And I can die from sickness, like a human. When I was little, before I fully connected with my nation, I was a very sickly child. My immune system was pathetically low. After connecting with my nation, it went up to an average Italian’s immune system strength. Just know that I, like my brother, have this one weakness.” I said, still clinging to Romano with a vice-like grip.

“Itary-kun… We will _never_ use this against you.” Japan said as the other nations nodded their agreement. My eyes went wide, traveling from nation to nation.

“You… don’t hate me?” I asked, surprised.

“Why would we hate you?” Prussia asked, appearing offended.

“I… I’m not _like_ you… I’m not a full nation… I can die like a human… I can get sick like a human, and become frail and weak… well, weak _er_.”

“Aiyaa! Is _that_ what you’re worried about, aru?! If you get sick, come to me or Japan, aru! We’ll fix you right up!” China said as Japan nodded his head with a soft smile.

“Ja! Und next time you get sick, _tell_ _me_.” Germany stressed, “I’ll cancel training until you’re better.” He was already planning to read up on all the medical books he could get his hands on.

“Yeah, dude! And I may not be good with sick stuff, but the doctors in my country are, like, totally awesome! We have state-of-the-art tech here, yo! Come to me, and I’ll patch you right up!” America proclaimed.

“Right. Ignore him, and come to my place. A nice cup of tea always calms the body.” England said.

“Non! Don’t listen to _him_!” France shouted, “He’ll feed you his _crap_! Come to moi! I’ll treat you to wine and a five-star dinner~”

“I will keep General Winter away while you are sick, Дa?” Russia said, smiling.

“I’ll make you maple syrup and fresh pancake—”

“ZE AWESOME ME WILL MAKE YOU AWESOMELY BETTER BY BEING IN MY AWESOME PRESENCE! I AM AWESOME!” Prussia cut Canada off.

I smiled, “Grazie...” I was so relieved. _They still like me… They don’t hate me…_ I was so terrified that they would reject me when they found out…

“Roma! How could you not tell me this sooner?! What if something happened to you?! You know how many snakes there are at my place! And you’d better stay far away from England’s food! We don’t want you getting poisoned from it!” Spain said, a grin on his face as England scoffed and muttered how his scones were delectable under his breath. _Yeah… Right. Delectable to fungi and mold, maybe…_

“Don’t call me _Roma_ …” Romano growled at Spain, but Spain ignored it as usual. I winced a bit. _Ve… Touchy topic…_

“Lovi~!” Feliciano’s voice called, drawing all of our attention back to the source of everything… the memory. Feliciano was seen running out into the freshly fallen snow towards Lovino.

“Aww, crap.” Romano muttered under his breath, wanting to apologize to me, but knowing that I would only glare and say he was already forgiven.

“Let’s play together~! Do you want to play, Lovi? Loviiiiiii~ Lovinoooo~ Loooooviiiiiii~” Feliciano kept calling, until Lovino finally turned away from his snowman to send a death glare at his little brother.

“Boys!” Emma called, her voice holding a no-nonsense tone that only mothers could truly master. “No fighting. Play nice. Felice, don’t annoy your brother. Vino, don’t murder your brother. I’m going to start some lunch. I’m making stew!”

“STEW!” The boys cried out together in excitement, before Lovino turned to glare daggers at his brother, while Feliciano smiled. Emma sighed and went inside, keeping an ear out for them from the kitchen.

“Lovi~! Play~!” Feliciano pressed, his cheeks rosy, and an excited look on his face.

“Shut up!” Lovino yelled, picking up a handful of snow and compacting it with his hands before throwing it at Feliciano.

Feliciano didn’t seem to realize the malicious intent in the throw, and believed his brother to be starting a game with him. “Throw snow at each other? That’s kind of weird, but whatever!” He muttered to himself, creating a snowball and throwing it with devastating accuracy, hitting Lovino dead in the face.

Lovino paused, as if trying to register what his brother just did. He slowly turned, looking quite a bit like Russia, and glared. “You’re _dead!_ ” He whispered, not wanting his mother to hear him.

Feliciano, recognizing the real danger he was in, dived away as he was bombarded with snow. Lovino somehow even threw the head of his snowman at him—which was twice the size of the child, at least.

Feliciano, laughing and enjoying the ‘game’, was quick to retaliate. He hid behind trees and bushes, and hid among the snowdrifts to bombard his older brother with snow from all angles. The snowman forgotten, an epic snowball fight began.

Before long, both brothers built walls and forts, each one using war tactics that they instinctively knew as nations, and implemented them with frightening precision. The nations couldn’t help but be impressed—whenever it looked like one brother would get ahead, the other would counter the attack with a creative strategy. It honestly started looking like less like a child’s snowball fight, and more like a snowball fight one would expect trained military adults to carry out.

“Mon Cher~! This looks fun~! Let’s try it sometime, oui?” France asked, looking more and more excited. At least, until one of Lovino’s oddly shaped snowballs hit Feliciano in the arm.

“OW! No fair! You’re using ice-balls!” Feliciano complained. The nations winced, knowing how much it hurt.

“Romano!” Spain admonished.

“Oi! I was just trying to win… And kill him…” Romano admitted. I just laughed. “I started using ice-balls in retaliation, I believe?” I said, making a few nations stare at me in surprise.

Sure enough, Feliciano started using ice-balls as well. It turned into a snowball/ice-ball all-out warzone. Sometimes rocks and sticks could be seen flying across the battlefield, either aimed at the opposing force, or at their walls and forts in an attempt to knock them down. Feliciano was grinning and laughing. Every time he tried to hide, Lovino found him because he couldn’t contain his giggles. Even Lovino seemed to be enjoying himself, and was smiling freely, openly, with great joy. He, too, was laughing ecstatically.

Lovino threw a particularly hard ice-ball at Feliciano, hitting him right in the head. Feliciano fell to the ground, breathless and tired from running around in the snow.

The snow game stopped. Feliciano didn’t retaliate… He didn’t get up. Lovino, taking the opportunity presented, bombarded his brother with snow and ice. A few rocks were tossed in, too. When, after all that, Feliciano _still_ didn’t get up, Lovino felt that something was wrong.

The nations were quiet. The light, fun, playful atmosphere that was there just _moments_ before, was suddenly gone. They felt something heavy settle in the bottom of their stomachs. Something was wrong. Something was _very_ wrong.

“Oi! Jackass! Stop playing around! If this is a trick to get me, I swear I’m gonna pound you into mulch!” Lovino threatened, approaching Feliciano cautiously.

Feliciano didn’t even twitch. When they got closer, they saw that Feliciano had a nosebleed, and looked flushed. He was wheezing, and seemed to be unable to get enough oxygen into his system.

“Oi! Idiot! Stop playing around! Get up!” Lovino yelled, kicking Feliciano’s leg. No reaction.

Romano was very pale, by this point. He clearly remembered the feeling of terror that spread through his system. Seeing me like that… There was that feeling… that I would disappear and never return.

Feliciano then started coughing. It was a terrible, wet hacking cough. He covered his mouth with his hand, but when the coughing resided, he didn’t have the strength to keep his hand up anymore. It fell to the snow, revealing it to be coated in blood.

The nations couldn’t see Feliciano’s hand from their angle. But Lovino could. He paled drastically, and shook. “M-MOM!” He cried, sounding absolutely terrified. The nations, now really scared, stepped around Lovino to see what made him freak out so badly.

“No…” China whispered, seeing the blood staining the snow crimson. It was leaking from Feliciano’s nose and mouth, and dripping from his pale hand. He may not have been able to identify it exactly, but he knew it was likely fatal. Whatever it was, Feliciano’s chances of survival in that day and age were slim to none. The nations all seemed to realize this on some level.

“V-Vino… I’m scared…” Feliciano wheezed out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Perhaps, by some form of cruelty, a large, dark bruise blossomed visibly on Feliciano’s head, right where Lovino’s ice-ball had hit him just moments earlier.

“F-Felice…” Lovino said, using Feliciano’s human name for the first time.

Emma, hearing the panic in her son’s voice, ran out in a worry. Upon seeing her youngest lying in the snow, with blood on his face, she ran out, and swooped him up in her arms.

Hours later—though only minutes to the nations—the doctor finished examining Feliciano. He turned to Emma—and Lovino by default. The nations waited with baited breath hoping that he’d be okay. They knew that I was still there—that somehow, I’d managed to survive—but they were also terrified. They’d just learned that I could die _permanently_ by illness, and here my younger self was, looking like he was on death’s door.

“I’m sorry. There’s been an epidemic sweeping the country lately… Your son’s just one of the unlucky ones. He has a day at most.” The doctor said, packing up to leave. “There’s nothing I can do. I’ll call the undertaker and have him make a casket for you, free of charge. I know money’s tight for you, Emma…” Emma looked heartbroken; she started crying.

The nations froze. Hearing that offer, for the doctor to have a casket made for me? It terrified the nations, and really hit home for some of them. They realized just how real the possibility of my death was. Many of them went very pale.

“Hey… Hey! Stop crying! He’s a nation! He’ll be fine!” Lovino said, but he didn’t seem convinced of his own words. “He’s not sick… He _can’t_ be sick… He… he’s a nation… like me…” Lovino looked so lost and alone and hurt.

I hugged my brother tighter, to remind him that I was still here.

“Vino…” Feliciano’s weak voice came from the sickbed. Lovino’s head whipped up, as Emma smiled slightly.

“I’ll go make us something warm to drink.” She said, leaving the room to hide her pain.

“You… You can’t die! You’re a nation! So get better already!”

“ _Vino._ ” Feliciano said again, stressing the name. “We both know that…” He stopped to catch his breath. He seemed so tired, and so weak. He looked to be in great pain, as well, with a very high fever.

“If I was a full nation… I wouldn’t get sick… You can feel it, can’t you? I’m going to die. I’m going to die, and I won’t come back. I’m going to disappear before our nation even comes into existence… I wonder… are there others like us? Don’t let my death get you down, Vino… Just… live, please… Live for me, or for mom… Live for us, and make new friends. Please?” Feliciano panted, the monologue taking his breath from him again.

“N-no… You… you _can’t die!_ ” Lovino finally exploded, pounding his fists on the bed, causing it and Feliciano to rock dangerously, and Feliciano to wince. Lovino immediately stopped, seeing the wince, and looked at his hands with horror.

“I… I always wanted you to die… to make me whole, like I was supposed to be… But I don’t want you to die, now… I …” Lovino stopped, fighting his tears, as he grabbed his brother’s hand. “I WANT YOU TO LIVE!” He screamed, letting the tears flow at last, a particularly thick and heavy tear, falling on Feliciano’s hand, the area glowing a soft emerald as it dissolved into the skin. This time, we, the nations saw it—Lovino’s First Tear.

“I don’t _want_ you to die anymore! You’re my _fratellino!_ My little brother! You’re _all I have!_ I don’t want you to leave me alone! Please! I need to protect you! I need you to be there for me! I need you to _live! Please, Felice!_ Please…” He sobbed brokenly, “I don’t want you to leave me alone… please… don’t leave me… Ti voglio bene…” He whispered, crying into his brother’s chest, being careful not to put too much weight on him.

Our Romano was also crying, grasping onto me with a death hold. His tears were staining my shirt, but I didn’t care. I wrapped him in a hug.

“Shhh, shhh… Vino, I’m here… Vino. I’m still here.” I reminded him softly, humming our mother’s lullaby into his ear as I rocked him slightly.

“Vino…” Feliciano whispered in shock, before smiling. “Ti voglio bene, fratellone.”

I smiled, that was the first time we called each other fratellone and fratellino… That was also the first time we told each other that we loved one another. Romano was silently crying into my chest now, as I continued to hum to him, and rub his back with one hand, and run my fingers through his hair with my other… Just like momma used to. The nations had respectfully turned away from us to give us as much privacy as they could.

“I’ll try, fratello… Just don’t hate me if I can’t.” Feliciano whispered.

“Idiota! I could _never_ hate you… not anymore…” Lovino whispered brokenly, crawling into bed to snuggle with his fratellino.

For the first time since their birth, the two brothers looked completely content in each other’s presence. They lay together that night, sleeping as one. A whole, for the first time in their lives.

When morning came, the doctor returned. Again, like with Emma, he declared that Feliciano was pulling off a miracle, and was on the slow, long road to recovery. The nations let out a sigh of relief, as Lovino and Emma cried in joy. Feliciano slept peacefully with a gentle smile on his face, refusing, even in sleep, to relinquish his grasp on his fratellone.


	6. Chapter 5: Asher

The memory changed again, this time, it was late summer, and Feliciano—who was looking much healthier much to everyone’s relief—and Lovino were sleeping together in one of the two beds in their bedroom.

“Vino, Felice! Time to wake up! Breakfast’s ready, and I have a surprise for you!” Emma called from the kitchen. The two boys sleepily rubbed their eyes and stretched, before blinking at each other and breaking out into wide grins.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They cried to each other, embracing the other in a hug.

“Ve~ I know this memory!” I said happily, remembering the surprise.

“Si! I was wondering if we’d see this one.” Romano grinned, also sounding strangely upbeat.

“It was our 30th birthday. The last memory was when we were 25.” I said.

“Oh… You’re aging so quickly, though…” England pointed out; his eyebrows converging into one big fuzzy mass in the center of his forehead, making me chuckle a bit.

“We aged much faster before we connected with our nation. In fact, we were about this age physically when our nation connected.” I said, gesturing to our current bodies.

“Yeah, a fucking pain in the ass _that_ was. Young adult one moment, and a toddler the next! I fucking _shrank! SHRANK!_ ” Romano complained. “Do you know how long it took us to get our coordination right again?! _Do you?!_ And don’t even get me _started_ on having to go through _puberty_ again!” Romano yelled.

“Ve~ Lovi~ Calm down, Viva!” _Whoops, there goes the Viva tic again…_

“Che… Fucking… Wait, where’d the Viva come from?” Romano asked.

“Ve~ I don’t remember… It just pops out sometimes~” I covered.

“Hmm… Weird… Hope I don’t develop one…”

“You already have—you ‘che’.” I pointed out.

“Ah, go fuck off.” He muttered playfully.

“Ve~ You first~” I counter. Before we could start our bantering, our younger counterparts rushed into the kitchen, and greeted their mother, who was waiting patiently with three plates of breakfast.

“I made your favorite~” She said, “Happy Birthday, boys. You’ll get your present when you finish eating.”

The two boys ate in record time—while still somehow managing to enjoy their food—before zooming back up to their mother.

“We have a present this year!? What is it?!” Lovino asked, excited.

“Aw~ Roma~ You’re so cute~!” Spain said, trying to hug Romano, only for Romano to dodge and move to my other side.

“Che. I _told_ you, fucking Tomato Bastard… Don’t _call_ me that!”

“Yeah, momma~ What is it?! Is it another art tool?!” Feliciano asked, also excited.

“Just close your eyes, okay?” The twins obeyed, as Emma walked out of the room to retrieve the gift. She came back in leading… something. The nations couldn’t see because of the furniture in the way.

“Okay, boys. Open your eyes.” She stated, as the twins’ eyes flew open.

“WOW~!” They cried in joy, as they were greeted with the sight of a small, grey wolf pup.

The puppy yipped happily, at the sight of the twins, and jumped on them, licking their faces.

“Is he ours?!” Lovino asked excitedly.

“Yes, but you have to take care of him yourselves, all right? Teach him to hunt, feed him, and wash him. You also need to make sure he goes to the bathroom _outside_.” Emma said, a smile playing on her lips.

“YES! Thank you Mom!” The boys cried out.

“Vino? What are we going to name him?” Feliciano pointed out.

“Oh, um… hmm….” Lovino looked at the pup with a critical gaze. The puppy, eager to play, couldn’t sit still, and kept running around the twins.

“That is one high-energy pup.” Germany said. As one who raised dogs all his life, he’d seen many high-energy pups, but this one seemed absolutely _wired_. Perhaps it was American…

“Ve~ He _is_ a wild wolf pup, you know. His mother and siblings were mauled by a bear and made into dinner. Mother found him and healed him up, while surrounding him with our scents. He became attached to us immediately.” I explained.

“Makes sense.” Prussia said with a nod.

“How about Fluffball?” Lovino proposed. The nations shot Romano an odd look. “Fluffball? _Really?_ ” Spain asked.

“No? Crimson Fireball of Doom?” Lovino tried again. The nations gave Romano a look.

“I wasn’t too good at picking out names, okay?” Romano defended.

“We could tell…” England trailed off.

“Ve~ I think we can do better.” Feliciano said also giving Lovino a look. “Look at his fur color. It’s like ash…” At the last word, the puppy paused in his running to look at Feliciano with deep sapphire blue eyes that stood out brilliantly against his grey-white ash colored fur.

“Ash? You like that name? It’s a little plain, though…”

“Ash…ette?” Lovino tried.

“It’s a male.” Emma said, amused.

“Oh… How about Ashetto, then?”

“Too long… How about Asheo~!” Feliciano tried. The pup sneezed and shook its head.

“No, then… how about Asher?” Lovino tried again. The pup looked at the twins and yipped happily.

“Asher it is, then. Welcome to the family, Asher~” Feliciano grinned. The pup, now named Asher, ran to the young boy and covered his face in slobber.

“ACK! VINO HELP~!” Feliciano cried, trying to escape the wet tongue. But Lovino was too busy laughing his ass off.

The memory shifted to the twins playing with Asher. Well, Feliciano was playing with Asher… Lovino was chasing the poor pup. “Come back here! I just want to pull your tail a bit! Does it come off? Asher~” Lovino continued, chasing the pup around.

“Ve! Don’t hurt him! Of _course_ his tail doesn’t come off! Does your _arm_ come off?!” Feliciano called. He attempted to chase after Lovino and Asher, but quickly ran out of breath. Lovino noticed immediately, and stopped his pursuit. Asher, who’d been having fun being chased by Lovino, also came, sensing something wrong.

“Ve… I’m fine, just a little tired.” Feliciano tried pushing his brother away, but Lovino persisted, laying his hand on his brother’s forehead. “You feel kinda warm. I’m taking you back inside! Momma’ll make you better! We don’t want you getting sick again.” Lovino said firmly, leading his twin inside by the wrist, making sure not to drag him too fast.

“Ve… Okay.” Feliciano said disappointed that his fun was over for the day.

“Were you okay, Mon Cher?” France asked, worried.

“Ve~ I was fine. Like we told you earlier, my immune system was pathetic when I was a child. I would get sick all the time. I’d usually just get little fevers and sneezes and whatnot, but sometimes I’d get really sick… But it was something we were used to. I actually started to develop a stronger immune system in the decades leading up to us finally connecting to our nation.” I said, before the next memory came up.

The memory started with Lovino and Feliciano, each one looking about 8, sitting on the side of the road in the nearby village. Feliciano looked rather bored, and was playing with a fully grown Asher—who was larger than the child—while Lovino was sitting with his head resting on his hands, staring off into space with a dreamy look in his eyes.

“I’m telling you, Feli~ She’s _perfect!_ ” Lovino started. Feliciano rolled his eyes; he’d heard it many times before.

“Si, si.” Feliciano muttered, paying more attention to Asher.

“I mean it! She’s beautiful, smart, beautiful, funny, beautiful, caring, did I mention that she’s beautiful?”

“Lovi~ Someone’s got their first crush~!” Spain cried out in happiness.

“OI! Shut up! She turned out to be a bitch, anyways, so drop it.” Romano said, disgusted with his past self.

“Ve~ Vino, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, it _was_ mine. I was wrong to blame it on you. I’m so sorry, Felice… I just…” Romano shook his head, stopping our whispered conversation before the others could take notice.

“Look! There she is!” Lovino said, cutting himself off mid-sentence. The nations followed his gaze to a young, 13-year-old girl with long brown hair, and brown eyes. She was smiling happily as she spoke with her friends.

“Liana~” Lovino sighed in happiness.

“Into older girls, huh?” Spain asked jokingly.

“Technically he’s much older than her, so he’s into _younger_ girls.” France pointed out.

“Seriously, _shut up._ ” Romano warned. They wisely dropped the teasing.

“Can we go home, now? I don’t want that bastard Marks and his gang to show up…” Feliciano trailed off nervously.

“Marks?” England asked. The nations were a bit taken aback by Feliciano’s cursing; he was so young, and the Feliciano that _they_ knew wouldn’t cuss like this. What happened?

“The town bully. He really had it out for Veneziano… I’m sorry to say I didn’t do much to help.” Romano muttered the last part quietly.

“It’s okay, Lovi~ Most of the children in the village had heard that I was a ‘sickly child’. They stayed far away from me. I was the most popular punching bag in the village…” I admitted. _Ve… How I wish I could fight him now. I’d knock his lights out with a flick of a finger! Ha!_

Lovino ignored his little brother, waiting until Liana and her friends were out of sight before standing up and brushing himself off. Feliciano nervously did the same.

“Can we go now?” Feliciano tried again.

“Yeah, sure.” Lovino said, as the brothers started walking home.

“HEY! SICKO!” A boy, about 15, cried as he threw rocks at the twins. Feliciano visibly flinched.

“Don’t look at him; just ignore him.” Lovino advised, as he calmly continued walking. A few of the rocks hit Feliciano in the back of the head. A few tears welled up in his eyes, but he made no move to do anything but continue to walk home with his brother.

“Sickey~ Misfit~ Bastard~ Come on! Are you deaf as well as dumb? Or are you just retarded?! Huh? Come on!” The boy, Marks, continued.

“ _Ignore_ him.” Lovino pressed, when Feliciano looked like he was going to retort.

The nations watched in surprise, expecting Lovino to curse out the human child who had the nerve to threaten his younger brother. All the nations knew that I was untouchable territory so long as Romano was around. You mess with one twin, you mess with both. And if someone hurt me, Romano was sure to come after them with the force, grace, and fatal accuracy of the Mafioso.

They’d always assumed it was this way. But it wasn’t. Romano had to warm up to me. At this point, he was only accepting of my presence and conversation. He wasn’t trying to kill me anymore, and didn’t want me dead, but he also wouldn’t go out of his way to protect me if he believed I could handle it myself. At this point, he still put himself before famiglia. He would soon learn better—we both would. It was this experience that made us create the first, and most important founding rule of the Mafia.

By the time Feliciano and Lovino got home, Feliciano was in tears, holding his undoubtedly bruised head, and nursing his nearly non-existent pride.

“Shut up! It doesn’t hurt _that_ much! They’re just sticks and rocks!” Lovino yelled at his brother. Feliciano, not wanting to go back to being on bad terms with his twin, shut up, having to visibly bite his lip hard to stop his wailing, though his tears were still flowing.

“God! I’m such a _bastard!_ ” Romano yelled at himself. “ _DAMNIT! LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING FRATELLINO WHEN HE SPEAKS!_ ” He yelled, trying to get through to his younger self.

“Vino… Stop it. What’s past is past; there’s no changing it now.” I said. The others looked ready to say something, but I stopped them with a well-placed Russia-like glare. There was no way I’d let them yell at my fratello for this. No way. He beat himself up enough over it.

“Umm… Romano…? Can… Can I ask you something…?” Feliciano asked in a small voice.

“Hm? Yeah, sure. Speak up so I can hear you, though.” Lovino said distractedly, too busy putting on his night-clothes to give his fratellino his full attention.

“Um… that girl, Liana... I think—”

“Isn’t she just _perfect?!_ I’m gonna make her my wife, some day! Then we’ll be happy forever!” Lovino cut him off.

“I think it’s a bad idea to—”

“I mean she’s absolutely _perfect!_ I can’t find a fault about her~!”

“She bullies others, including me…” Feliciano pointed out, “but what I wanted to tell you is that you’re imm—”

“Yeah, yeah, so she has a few quirks, but so does _everybody!_ I used to bully you, right? Surely I can teach her to show her kindness more often! We’re meant to be~! I just _know_ it! I mean—”

“ _YOU’RE IMMORTAL!_ ” Feliciano finally shouted, tired of getting cut off. Lovino stopped, shocked that his timid brother cut him off. Feliciano used his shock to finally make his point. “I _know_ you really, _really_ like her, but you can _never_ be together! You’re immortal. She’s not. You’re a nation. She’s human. She’ll grow old and die, and you won’t. She’s already 13, and you’re still 8. You’ll _stay_ 8 for _decades_ before you can finally age to 9. How long do you think it’ll be before you’re 13? She’ll be long dead by then! It _just_ _won’t work_. What I’m the most scared of, is that she’ll say yes, and then leave you when she finds out, or that you’ll be forced to watch her grow old and die… Please… _Please,_ fratello… I don’t want to watch you go through that… I _can’t_ …”

The nations sobered when they heard Feliciano’s speech. Many of the nations had made the mistake of loving a human. France, England, Japan, China, America, Russia, even Canada. Every nation has at least _befriended_ a human at some point. If they weren’t rejected for their immortality, then they were rejected by time or bad fortune.

“Wha?! What are you _talking_ about?! Don’t be silly! Surely, there’s a way to make _her_ immortal, too! If I love her enough, she’ll _have_ to become a nation! She’ll _have_ to!” Lovino said.

“Oh, Roma…” Spain sighed. He hated watching his charge like this… Seeing him love and lose… It hurt them all, because they could all relate on some level.

“ _Don’t_ _call_ me that.” Romano’s voice held a venom in it this time. Spain decided that maybe he should heed his younger charge’s warning, and lay off the nickname for a bit.

“There _isn’t_.” Feliciano said firmly. “I know you want to, but wouldn’t it be easier for you both if you just kept your distance? Surely you could—”

“Keep our _distance_?! The _FUCK?! NO!_ I _love_ her! She _loves_ me! I can see it! I _know_! I just… Need to tell her.”

“Please! Listen to reason! She’ll _die!_ ” Feliciano reminded him harshly, _needing_ him to understand.

“NO! What?! What would _you_ know about love?! You’re hardly even in the village! You’re always _sick!_ Because I look like _you_ , the kids in the village _hate_ me. You’d better _pray_ that she doesn’t reject me because of _you_.” Lovino stated with a menacing glare. He then climbed into bed, muttering to himself. He was in his own little world, not paying any attention to his brother. Feliciano had this incredibly hurt look on his face.

“I’m so sorry, Vino… I… I’ll try to be better for you…” He whispered sadly, before turning and climbing into the separate bed on the other side of the room. He shivered under his blanket, reaching for something before realizing it wasn’t there. His twin was in another bed… Another world. A world that he couldn’t reach… A world he wasn’t sure he wanted to reach.

“Vino…” He whispered sadly, “I just don’t want you to hurt…”


	7. Chapter 6: A Brother's Oath

The next memory opened up to show the two boys in the village once more. Lovino was watching Liana again, but she seemed to be 14 now instead of 13.

“A year has passed since the last memory.” I said, shivering slightly. I remembered this one clearly. This was the start of the mafia, in a way. It was the event that jumpstarted the events that would lead to the birth of its first and most basic unbreakable rule— _Famiglia Before All._

Romano also paled greatly as he recognized this memory. “Ve~ Just so you guys know, Vino’s going to do something incredibly stupid here and in the next memory or two. Do _not_ blame him or get mad at him. He’s already beaten himself up enough over it, and he doesn’t need any help with that. Remember; this happened over two _thousand_ years ago. I may hold a grudge like no tomorrow, but I’ve long since forgiven him.”

“Wait, _you_ hold _grudges_?!” England asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Felice can hold a grudge that makes the rivalry between you and France, or even Russia and America look like child’s play. His shit list is one of the hardest to get on—you have to do something beyond devastating to get on it—but it’s even harder to get off. I was on it for 150 years, and I’m his brother. Even as a child, he could hold a grudge. It took him 80 years to forgive and forget about Marks and his gang. That was _long_ after they died, too.” Romano explained. Some of the nations blanched.

“I’ll just tell you now; two people are on my shit list right now.” I chirped happily, enjoying seeing them pale even further. “One of you likely knows who you are, and if you don’t it’ll surely come up in the memories later. The other…? It’s whoever cast this spell. I’m fairly sure it wasn’t you, England, so you’re safe for now.”

England let out a breath of relief. He’d seen me angry before. It was during 9/11. I was _livid_ at what happened to America. England happened to be in the vicinity, and saw me mad. He’d steered clear of me for a few decades after that. I swear he actually _pissed_ himself! He looked like we do when presented with his cooking. Ha!

“Oh! There she is! I’m going to tell her!” Lovino said. “I’m going to tell her! Tomorrow!” He continued.

“Roma…” Feliciano sighed, before giving his twin a sad smile, and pushing him gently in the direction of the girl. “Tell her now, or you’ll regret it forever. We’re going to have to move in a few months again, you know. You’ll likely never see her again.” Lovino looked back at his brother in surprise.

“I thought you were against this?” He asked suspiciously, not taking his eyes off Liana.

“I am. But if it makes you happy, even for a short while, then I’ll support you in whatever you do.” Feliciano said, that sad smile still on his face.

“Grazie.” Lovino said, before speeding off towards his crush with a determined look on his face.

“And I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when you break.” Feliciano whispered to himself, staring off after his brother.

“Hey! Freak!” A familiar voice called. Marks and his group swaggered up to Feliciano. They looked 16 now, and some of them had alcohol in their hands. The nations stiffened. With Lovino distracted by the girl, there was nobody to protect Feliciano.

Feliciano seemed to realize this, too, for he started shaking like a leaf. “H-hey Marks… I heard about your engagement to Liana… Congratulations…” Feliciano stuttered.

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell Romano… I tried to bring it up multiple times, but he wouldn’t listen. So I finally decided to let her tell him herself.” I explained.

“Yeah. She’s a good catch. She’ll make me some good sons. I hear your brother likes her, though. Doesn’t he know she’s mine? He can’t touch my property without my permission.” Marks said, taking another swig of his drink. Feliciano seemed to realize just how dangerous the situation was, and took a step back.

“I-I know! She’s telling him now! I swear!” Feliciano quickly blurted out.

“Oh? Well, that solves one issue, then.” Without warning, he swung a hard punch and hit Feliciano in the face with a loud _CRACK!_ Feliciano fell to the ground, his nose broken.

The nations started yelling indignantly. While they may have seen it coming, they didn’t want to see it happen. And watching a 16-year-old beating up an 8-year-old? It was sickening.

“I’m sorry!” Feliciano cried out, not knowing what he was apologizing for, but knowing that he must’ve done _something_ to anger the bully.

“Heheheh~ What a great stress-reliever! Some of the villagers say that I’m too angry. So I came up with the perfect solution! I can beat you black and blue to get rid of my anger.” He gave a nasty, feral grin, and started kicking the downed Feliciano in the abdomen.

“STOP!” China, among other nations, yelled. They could _hear_ Feliciano’s ribs cracking.

Feliciano’s cries of pain were drowned out by the bullies’ laughter. It seemed like hours. It may have been. Lovino finally started wandering back into the memory, before stopping a few feet away from the whole fiasco. He looked rather shocked at the bullies stomping on and kicking his brother, who lay in a quivering heap in the road, bloodied and bruised.

Feliciano looked at Lovino through a thick black eye, and reached out a hand towards him. “V-Vi-no… H-help…” He cried weakly, his voice hoarse from screaming and crying. He just barely blocked a kick to his neck with his other arm.

Lovino, however, only glared at Feliciano coldly, before spitting on the ground near his face and walking away. Not once did he glance back, even when Feliciano continued to cry out to him desperately.

“Aww~ What’sa matter? Yooouuur broootherrrrr leeftttuuuuu?” Marks slurred, obviously drunk, as he stomped viciously on Feliciano’s outstretched hand. A loud _snap_ telling the horrified nations watching that it was broken. He kicked Feliciano in the face again, breaking his nose again.

“P-please….” Feliciano begged, tears streaming down his filthy face. He couldn’t stop staring at the place his brother had spit, nor could he stop himself from looking off in the direction his brother left in.

“Come on, Marks. Your paps will get suspicious if you’re out late again.” One of the few sober bullies said, looking around him nervously.

“Yeeeerriight…” Marks slurred. “Yooou!” He said to Feliciano, “I ain’t dooone witchuuu yet! Know that I’llll finish disss laterrr!” He said, going for another kick. A low growling noise and a sharp bark made him freeze as he came face to face with a very pissed off Asher.

The tame wolf was bristling with anger. His sharp teeth were bared at the bully as he stood protectively in front of his downed pack member.

The bullies were quick to stagger away, most of them dead-drunk. None of them wanted to face a fully grown male wolf, after all. Behind them, an innocent 8-year-old child was left, bloodied and bruised and broken lying in the road as the night rapidly set in.

“DO _NOT_ yell at Romano.” I reminded the nations, who looked about ready to come out of their shock. “I told you—I’ve already forgiven him. This is long past, and he’s more than made up for it.”

“But–!”

“ _No._ ” I stated firmly, cutting America off. The other nations made noises of disgruntlement, and a few brave souls glared at Romano. I gave them an icy glare in return. They soon stopped.

Feliciano didn’t have the strength to move, let alone walk home. He lay there, sobbing until Asher turned around and nuzzled him, letting him know he was no longer alone. “A-Asher…” Feliciano said with relief.

“Could you get Lovi? Oh, wait… he left… Could you help me, then?” He asked weakly. Asher seemed to understand, though, and crouched down. Feliciano was able to heave himself onto the wolf’s back.

Asher carried Feliciano home that night, being as gentle as he could. They snuck into the house to find Emma waiting impatiently. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw the state Feliciano was in.

“What happened?!” She asked, horrified. She was already getting out the medical supplies and treating Feliciano’s wounds.

“N-nothing…” Feliciano gasped out as his mother accidentally jarred his broken hand.

“Don’t you _dare_ lie to me, Feliciano.” She warned.

“R-really!” He tried again.

“You should know to obey mom when she uses our full names…” Romano muttered to me. I nodded my head, knowing how stupid I was being here.

“Feliciano Chigi Vargas, you will _not_ lie to me!”

“Your middle name is Chigi?” Spain asked, shocked.

“Yes…” I said, embarrassed. I loved my name, really I did!

Chigi was a name picked out by my father. Both our middle names are. That’s where Romano got his Chigi from. He’s calling me by my middle name in a secret way of asking if I’m still there. Asking for confirmation that I’m still there for him. I ‘ve’ in response to let him know the same, or ask him the same. Every now and then, we switch it up. When I ask ‘ve’ and Romano ‘Chigi’, it’s the equivalent of asking ‘are you there?’ and confirming ‘I’m here.’ But when we switch it up and I say ‘Chigi’ and he goes ‘ve’, it’s as if saying ‘I’m here for you.’ And the response is ‘I know you are. I am too.’ It’s a secret little code we developed over time.

“So what’s _your_ middle name, Lovi?” Spain asked. Romano blushed and muttered something. “Huh? I couldn’t hear you~!” Spain repeated.

“I said you’ll find out in a minute! I think she got our middle names mixed up. Mine should’ve been Chigi, and yours should’ve been mine.” Romano muttered.

“Fine! I-it was the bullies in the village. They got drunk and came after me… I was stupid. I said something I shouldn’t have and they beat me up for it.” Feliciano said. “I’m sorry, momma… Please don’t be mad at me…?”

“It’s okay.” Emma sighed. “I’m not mad at you. Just don’t lie. It’s unbecoming of you. Neither of you should lie. Speaking of which… LOVINO VE VARGAS! COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!” She yelled.

“Ve? That’s your middle name?” America asked.

“Si. It’s an actual name, for the record.” Romano said.

Lovino came running out of the room, and stopped before his mother. He stared between her and his brother in slight fear. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to—!” He started, before Feliciano cut him off.

“I told her everything, Lovi. About how I told you to go ahead. It was stupid of me to provoke those bullies, I know. I’m sorry. Momma! Please don’t punish Roma, too! He didn’t do anything wrong! I made him go home first! I thought I could handle myself.” Feliciano lied. Lovino hid his shock well, or as well as a 32-year-old in an 8-year-old’s body could.

“Alright.” Emma said after a minute. It was obvious that she saw through the lie, but was letting it slide. “But Felice? Stay away from the village, please? I hate seeing you like this.”

“Si, mama…” Feliciano replied.

The scene blurred to show the twins in their room. Feliciano was all patched up, and Lovino was staring at him from his bed. “Why?” He asked simply. “Why did you cover for me?”

“What happened with Liana?” Feliciano changed the subject.

“Answer my question!”

“Because you’re my brother! I don’t need any other reason!”

“Bullshit! I left you there to die! I _spat_ at you! Why the hell would you still call me your brother?!”

“Because you’re all I have! You and momma and Asher are all I have! If I didn’t have you three… I would be all alone. And that’s worse than anything.” Feliciano said quietly. “Now, what happened with Liana? You have to tell _somebody_. Otherwise you’ll end up bottling it up, and that’s not good!” Feliciano said.

“Well… She’s engaged… To Marks, of all people! He’s not right for her! _I_ am! I’d make her much happier than _him!_ He’d only abuse her! Look at what he did to you! But I can’t piss off the village bully! His father _owns_ the damned place! But I’ve got a plan! I’m going to talk to her tomorrow! We could run away together! She could come with us, and the four of us, plus Asher, could be a big family! We could move a few months early, right?” Lovino sounded so hopeful. Feliciano sighed.

Later that night, after Lovino was asleep, Feliciano lay awake, still aching something terrible from his injuries. “Asher, am I doing the right thing?” He asked suddenly. Asher lifted his head from Feliciano’s pillow. “I mean with Vino… I don’t want him to hurt… He’s going to lose her either way… Isn’t it better to have lost her before he had anything? Isn’t that better than to have had that love reciprocated? She won’t go for him, I suspect. I’m his brother, after all. I’m the sick one. Nobody wants to be around me, let alone be my sister-in-law. She’ll only ever see him as a child, anyways… So what should I do? Do I let him go for it and risk him breaking? Or do I let him live in wondering? I’m honestly not sure which is worse.” Feliciano sighed, running his hand through Asher’s fur. “I hope I’m not making a mistake. I don’t want to lose him… He’s the only one I have… He’s the most important person to me.” Feliciano whispered, before finally falling asleep.

The nations sighed in sympathy. Even so young, they hadn’t realized how philosophical I could be.

Before anyone could say anything, the next memory popped up, showing Feliciano sitting at the top of a sheer cliff, Asher at his side.

“ITALIEN! GET DOWN FROM THERE! You don’t know if it’s unstable or not!” Germany yelled out of reflex.

“Ve~ Germany, I’m fine. Vino and I hung out there all the time, Viva~! It was our secret meeting spot. He’d gone to meet with Liana, and I was waiting for him to return…” I trailed off, knowing what was coming next. Romano winced, also remembering what had happened at the cliff.

Lovino came stalking out of the tree line, a deep, hateful scowl on his face, as he glared harshly at Feliciano.

“Vino! You’re back! How’d it go? What’d she—”

_SLAP!_

The sound echoed around the suddenly still area. Even Asher seemed shocked at the turn of events. The nations couldn’t comprehend it. Lovino had just _slapped_ Feliciano. Open-palmed slap. Feliciano’s head slowly centered itself to stare open-mouthed at his brother, his left hand migrating up to the red palm-mark on his left cheek. “V-Vino?”

“Don’t you _dare_!” Lovino started, livid. “She said _no_ because _you_ were my _brother_!” He hissed the words, putting enough venom in them that Feliciano staggered back in shock. “It’s _your_ fault! We’d be together if _you_ weren’t here! If _you_ were a part of _me_ like it was supposed to be!” Lovino’s rant was steadily climbing in volume and ferocity. He started advancing on a frightened Feliciano, who was backing up in fear.

“Vino?” He asked, terrified of the look in Lovino’s eyes.

“ _Don’t_ call me that.” Lovino replied with a deadly calm. He was inches away from Feliciano, who was now backed up all the way to the cliff. “You aren’t my brother. You aren’t _Italy_. You are nothing but a sickly child who gets in my way, and follows me around. That’s _it._ Just do the world a favor and off yourself before you can mess up anyone else’s lives.” He said coldly. The nations stared at Romano in shock. Romano was crying openly, sobbing into my shirt as he managed to choke out apology after apology.

“Vino… I said it was fine. I’ve forgiven you. You had a broken heart… We all do and say things in anger and frustration and sorrow when our hearts are hurting. Trust me, I _know_.” I said comfortingly. I glared at the other nations in warning over Romano’s head. _If they so much as say one word about this to Romano, then I might just end up waking Yang up again._

Perhaps by some cruel twist of fate, at the exact moment that Lovino turned and started walking away, the cliff face crumbled under the children’s feet. The two started falling, and Lovino grabbed Feliciano’s broken hand as his other hand grabbed the edge of the cliff. They hung there, suspended above a deep gorge with a deep, fast-moving ravine _miles_ below them.

Feliciano cried out in pain at the strain suddenly put on his broken hand. “V-Vino?” He asked surprised. His brother just told him to go kill himself, and here he was saving him from falling. Why?

“I-Idiot!” Lovino called “D-Don’t let go! I–! I didn’t mean what I said! I’m sorry! I was just frustrated and–! And angry! And–! I don’t know, okay?! Just don’t let go! I’m so sorry!” He cried, tears flowing.

“I… I’m sorry, Vino… You’re right.” Feliciano said sadly, before he smiled brightly at his brother. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be a good little brother for you. I’ll be better in my next life, okay?” He said, before letting go.

“NO!” Lovino cried, as Feliciano’s hand slipped through his own. He stared, unable to comprehend what just happened. The nations watched in horror as Feliciano fell, a sickening _crack_ sounded as his head hit a rock jutting out of the cliff face. He landed in the river below. They could see no sign of him.

“Damnit! He can’t swim!” Lovino cried out. Asher was barking at the edge of the cliff above. “ASHER!” Lovino called urgently. The wolf stopped, and waited for his orders. “Go get mom! Lead her to the riverbank! Hurry!” Lovino called out as he pushed off of the cliff, and followed his brother, avoiding the jutting rocks.

The nations couldn’t do anything. They couldn’t think to say anything. The way Lovino had acted at the beginning of the memory was a foreign Lovino to them; but just now, _that_ was pure Romano. That was the Romano they knew. The nation of Southern Italy who’d do _anything_ to protect his little brother.

The memory phased out, before coming back in fuzzy quality. Lovino was dragging an unconscious Feliciano onto the riverbank. “O-oi… Stay with me, Felice… Please… I’m sorry… I’m so goddamned sorry!” Feliciano was shivering hard, making the nations worry. “I… I promise… I swear… I’ll look after you. I will _always_ protect you. Just give me one more chance, Please! I know I’ve been a dick. An asshole. A bastard…”

“Don’t forget jackass…” Feliciano said weakly, causing Lovino to jump to his side.

“Felice! You’re awake!”

“N-not really…” Feliciano replied, already starting to fade out again, his head was bleeding badly, and his shivering was getting worse.

“Hey! Stay with me! Please! I was a jackass, too, alright?! Just… don’t leave me! Please stay awake! Can you hear me?! Hello?!”

“V-Ve… Vino…”

“Chigi… I’m here.”

“P-please stay… w-with me… I-I’m so-sorry… I co-couldn’t do it… I-I tried… I-I’m t-too scared to… to… leave by myself… I’m sor-rry…” Feliciano said, his voice growing weaker by the second.

“He’s in shock, aru! He’s also going to develop hypothermia if he isn’t warmed up soon.” China said, worried.

“Hang on! Please, don’t sleep!” Lovino said urgently, gently slapping his brother’s face to get him to stay awake.

“But wh-why not?”

“Because Mom’s coming! She’ll be mad if you fall asleep!” Lovino said.

“S-she wi-will?”

“Yeah, so you gotta stay awake, alright?! I’ll make you that stuff you really like! You know, the one you haven’t named yet? With the long wheat!”

“Oh… My favorite… Y-you p-promise?”

“Yeah, but only if you stay _awake_ , okay?! Can you do that for me?”

“I-I’ll t-try… But I’m… so… tired…” Feliciano’s eyes started to droop again.

“NO!” Lovino yelled, somehow managing to snap Feliciano awake again.

“VINO! FELICE!” Emma’s frantic voice called, as she ran into the scene. “What happened?!”

“Mom! He fell off the cliff! He hit his head hard! Please make him better!” Lovino sounded terrified.

“M-momma… V-Vino said h-he’d ma-make m-me… that stringy s-stuff I li-like… If I c-could st-stay awake…”

“Yes, we’ll both make it, so _don’t_ fall asleep.” Emma said urgently, Asher pacing nervously beside the family.

“Asher!” Emma said, “Go fetch the doctor!” Asher barked and ran off in the direction of the village. Emma, who happened to have a blanket with her, stripped Feliciano to the nude, and discarded the sopping wet clothes before wrapping Feliciano up in the blanket, making sure to apply pressure to his bleeding head. By this point, his shivering had stopped, and his breathing was getting slower and shallower.

They rushed home, trying to keep Feliciano awake, but somewhere along the journey, he finally succumbed to the encroaching darkness, and the memory blacked out.

“What the hell did we just see?” America asked, not sure how to approach the situation.

“A very private moment between brothers.” England stated heavily. Everyone sighed tiredly. We were all exhausted from watching these memories, and we weren’t even through my _childhood_ yet. My _first_ childhood. Because we had two. But we’ll get to that later~

“He’s developing hypothermia…” China said, worried. The nations looked at me with anxiety.

“I’m fine. I lived. That’s all that matters.” I said.

“The _hell_ it is! You scared us to _death!_ ” Romano argued.

“I’m sorry!” I said quickly.

“No, no… I’m sorry. It was my—”

“I _swear_ that if you say it was your fault one more time…” I trailed off, leaving Romano to come up with a suitable ending.

“Alright… But I _am_ sorry…”

“Hey! The next memory’s coming up!” America said, eager to see if I really was all right or not.

The scene popped up again, this time to show Feliciano laying in a bed, with the doctor looking at him. His face was flushed, and he seemed to be breathing quickly, and shaking badly; every few seconds he’d give a weak cough.

“I’m afraid he’s got pneumonia.” The doctor said.

“Hypothermia can turn to pneumonia if you’re not careful…” China whispered, unable to stop the medical knowledge that spilled from his lips.

“What does that mean, doctor?” Emma asked, looking terrified.

“Give him plenty of fluids and rest. Either he’ll get better in a few weeks, or he’ll die. It all depends on how strong he is.” The doctor said.

“That’s really all they can do?!” America asked, shocked. They called the doctor over to tell them the obvious?!

“In those days, yes. Not many people were educated. Hardly anyone was, actually. Our father was well learned, though, and taught our mother how to read and write among other things, and she, in turn, taught us. A bit of medical knowledge was among the ‘other things’ he taught her, which is why she’s always able to treat my wounds and sicknesses.” I explained.

“Why was your father so well-learned, aru?” China asked, curious.

“He was from the House of Chigi.” Romano stated.

“The House of Chigi? You mean that royal Roman family? They didn’t pop up until the early 13th century! We’re still in the BC’s!” England complained.

“They didn’t make an _appearance_ until the 13 th century. It existed long before then. Our father left that life, though. He was the youngest of 15 sons, and decided that he wanted to explore the world, and found our mother. His birth name was Christopher Vargas Chigi, but switched his middle and last names around when he left. He married our mother, and became Mr. and Mrs. Emma and Christopher Vargas. They had their first son together, and named him Alexander, after our grandfather on our father’s side, but Alexander was born with a weak heart. He died days later when an epidemic struck. That same epidemic took our father as well. They’d been together for ten years, and married for eight. It took them that long to have a child, and she lost them both in just a few days. He taught her all about his family history, in hopes that she could help him teach his sons and daughters. About a week after their deaths, our mother found us. She named me Lovino Ve Vargas, as ‘Ve’ was a name that was carried by the firstborn son of the Chigi Family, and Veneziano was named Feliciano Chigi Vargas, so that the Chigi link would never be lost.” Romano explained.

“So you’re technically Roman Royalty!? Dude! That’s awesome!” America shouted, awestruck.

The memory changed once more. It was night, and Feliciano was still lying in bed, looking very sick. His breathing was quick, and he was still coughing badly. He looked to have a high fever, too, and had a wet washcloth folded up on his forehead to keep him cool. A bowl of cool water was sitting on the nightstand beside the bed. Lovino was sitting in a wooden chair beside Feliciano’s bed. He was holding his brother’s hand in both of his, and had it pressed to his own forehead.

“V-Vino…?” Feliciano asked quietly, before a coughing fit wracked his already exhausted body. Lovino helped him through it.

“You should be asleep, idiot... Why would you do that? Why’d you just let go? I didn’t mean what I said, I’m so, _so_ sorry, Felice… I don’t know what I was thinking… I’m such an _idiot!_ ”

“I… I’m sorry… I thought… I thought that your life would be better without me… I have for a while, actually. I’m always sick, and causing you trouble… And now I’ve finally cost you your girl… I’m so sorry, Vino… I’ll try to be a better brother for you, I promise!” Feliciano said the last part a little too forcefully, and it sent him into another coughing fit.

“Idiot! Don’t talk! Just rest… And listen… It’s not your fault, okay?! It’s mine…” Lovino gently caressed the hand-shaped bruise on his brother’s left cheek. He looked ready to cry. Without thinking, he bent down and kissed the bruise. “Mi dispiace, fratellino… I shouldn’t have done that… I shouldn’t have said what I did. God, I’m such a bastard, aren’t I? I… I’m a terrible big brother! But I’ll be better, Felice. I promise! I’ll look after you, and protect you always. I’ll put you and your needs first, and I’ll always be there when you need me, even if you don’t want me to. No matter _what_ —I’ll always be there for you. This I vow. _Famiglia Before All._ This will be the rule that will govern my life. Family first. Always.” Feliciano looked at his crying brother with a sad, yet hopeful smile. He weakly reached up his free hand, and wiped the tears away, his own tears flowing.

“Famiglia Before All. This I, too, shall vow.” Feliciano repeated in a tired voice. “We shall both live by this rule, fratello. When one of us breaks, the other will be there to pick up the pieces, okay? There’s no need for just one of us to carry such a burden. We’re twins! We’re half of a whole—of each other. We weren’t made to be alone; we were made to be one.”

“Si…”

“It wasn’t your fault, fratellone.” Feliciano started, “It may have been your _actions_ , but what happened is the result from _both_ of our choices. We’re both at fault for this, okay?”

“Get some rest, Felice… You need to regain your strength.” Lovino said, re-wetting the towel on his twin’s forehead.


	8. Chapter 7: Human Friends

**_ Chapter 7: Human Friends _ **

The next memory faded in, showing the brothers and their mother to have sacks and other personal objects. Feliciano looked to be completely recovered, and Lovino seemed to be hovering around him, as if he thought his brother would shatter if he wasn’t too careful.

“Vino, I’m fine!” Feliciano said, as if for the umpteenth time. Lovino didn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure it isn’t too heavy? You did just get over your cold, you know. Maybe I should take the pack, just in case?”

“Vino, stop mother-henning Felice. If he says he’s fine, then let him handle it. He’ll ask you if he needs help, right Felice?” Feliciano looked at his mother with a grateful smile.

“I promise, Vino. Please?”

“Fine… But you _have_ to tell me if it gets too heavy, or if you get tired, okay?”

“Okay. Ve~”

“Chigi.”

“Umm….?” America asked, lost.

“We had to move often, since we didn’t age at the same rate as humans. We moved every 3-4 years or so. This is roughly 2 or 3 months after the last memory, I think.” Romano explained.

“Si~ And Vino was overprotective of me, since that last memory. I swear, it took me _weeks_ to convince him that, yes, I did know how to feed myself, and that, no, I wasn’t going to get sick from playing with him and Asher outside. I swear! He actually made _himself_ sick once by worrying over me so much!” I said, as Romano turned slightly red.

“There’s nothing wrong with worrying over my own brother, is there?” He asked.

“Nope~ It’s rather entertaining, though.” I chirped.

“Ah, shut up.”

“Ve.”

“Chigi.”

“Why do you do that, anyways, if you don’t mind my asking?” Canada spoke up.

“Do what?” I asked, confused.

“I am thinking that I would be liking to know, too, дa? Why is it that you are calling each other by your middle names?” Russia chimed in.

“It’s a thing we do… It’s private, so we’d rather not explain.” I finally said. It was something that was just between Romano and I, and I didn’t feel comfortable explaining it to the others. It was bad enough that they’d see our whole _lives_ ; I wanted at least _one_ thing kept between the two of us. Besides, they’d never look at our tics the same way again.

“That’s quite understandable.” England said with a nod. The others—even Russia—backed down as well, understanding the need for some form of privacy.

“So you had to move every 3-4 years? Man, what a pain!” America changed the subject. _Heh, and they say he can’t read the atmosphere. He just chooses not to._

“Yeah… It was a pain in the ass, but it was necessary.” Romano said, barely suppressing his shiver. I, too, had to barely suppress mine as I recalled the one time we forgot to move within the set time frame. We still had the scars.

They watched as the memory did a sort of montage thing, showing the three of us—plus Asher—trekking through the forests along the stream for a few weeks before finally coming to another town. The montage continued, showing us moving into another remote house just outside of town.

“We call this room!” Feliciano and Lovino yelled, as time seemed to resume as normal.

“Alright, set your stuff down. You can go exploring, if you want.” Emma said, as she started making the place look more like a home.

“Yay~” The twins shouted in excitement. “Come on, Asher! Let’s go!” Asher barked in agreement, as he followed the twins outside.

“Those are some rambunctious kids, you go there.” One of the village men who’d come to greet them said.

“Yes, they are. They take after their father.” She said with a fond smile.

“Vino! Let’s check out the village! Maybe they’ll have some new books!” Feliciano said, excited at the prospect of new reading materials.

“You think? It’s kinda small…”

“Come on! Please!?”

“Oh, alright. But don’t run ahead!” Lovino said, grabbing his brother’s hand, and keeping a hold of it. “I don’t want you running off and getting lost.”

“That was _one time_ , fratello.”

“Which is one time too many, for me!”

“Hey! Look. There’re some kids over there! They look about our age! Can we go say hi?” Feliciano asked, his puppy-dog eyes turned on full-blast.

“Damnit! You know I can’t resist those!” Romano mock-glared, gently thwacking my head.

“Ve~ I know~ That’s why I do it! It works on Germany and Japan, too~” I whispered to him, making him chuckle.

Lovino took one fatal look at Feliciano. “Fine… But just for a little bit, okay?”

“Grazie~” Feliciano said happily, before practically _skipping_ over to the other kids, dragging Lovino with him.

“Hello~” He said warmly, with a large grin. There were three kids, two boys and a girl. The first boy had blue eyes and short, light brown hair. The second boy had reddish-brown hair—though not quite as red as the twins’—with brown eyes, and the girl had dark brown hair with hazel eyes.

“Hi. Are you two new here? I haven’t seen you before. I’m Kalin.” The blue-eyed boy said, sticking out his hand to shake. Feliciano took it cheerfully.

“I’m Feliciano~ This is my older twin brother, Lovino. We just moved here today~”

“Hi.” Lovino said with a slight smile.

“I’m Riean, and this is my cousin Hazel.” The second boy said, gesturing to the hazel-eyed girl.

“Nice to meet you~” Feliciano chirped back. The five kids then started talking about a variety of things ranging from where the twins came from and how old they were—the twins lied, of course—to things to do around the village and good ghost stories they’d heard. The five seemed to hit it off right away, and even Lovino seemed to like hanging out with the kids.

“Wow, this is a bit of a change from the last village.” America commented.

“Si~ they were good friends of ours. Our first _human_ friends, actually.” I said sadly.

We were then treated to a montage (again) of Feliciano and Lovino playing with Kalin, Riean and Hazel. They counted about three winters in the memories, before it finally slowed down.

Once again, Feliciano was in his bed, looking rather ill.

“Again, aru?!” China asked, worried.

“I already told you; my immune system was nearly non-existent when I was little. In all honesty, it was a miracle I lived long enough to become a nation.” I said heavily, making a few of the nations wince at the thought. “Vino and Momma were used to me getting sick at _least_ once a month. Usually it wasn’t anything to worry about, and I could just sleep it off for a day and be back on my feet by the next. But then there were times like this,” I gestured to the memory, “where it took more than just a good night’s rest to recoup.”

“Momma! I’m fine! I _promise_!” Feliciano pleaded with his mother.

“No you’re not. You’re sick. You’re not leaving this bed for at _least_ three days.” Emma said sternly.

“WHAT?! No! I can’t! The Carnival!” Feliciano cried out, devastated. “It’s tomorrow! Vino, Kalin, Riean, Hazel and I were all planning to go! We’ve been planning it for _months!_ ”

“I’m sorry, Felice, but you’re in no condition to go outside, Carnival or otherwise. It’s much too cold out there right now; General Winter’s coming, and you know how much he loves to make you sick.” Emma pointed out.

“No! But! But! Vino!” Feliciano turned to his twin for support.

“Sorry, but I’m with mom on this one. You’re too sick. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll stay here with you.” Lovino said.

“No… No, it’s okay…” Feliciano forced a smile. “Just because one of us is sick, doesn’t mean we _both_ have to miss it! Go! Have some fun for me, and bring me back a treat!” Lovino stared at his twin in slight surprise.

“No.” He said at last. “I’m not going. I swore to protect you and watch over you _always_. As such, I’m staying. Besides,” Lovino shot Feliciano a bright grin. “What kind of fratellone leaves his fratellino sick in bed while he goes out and has fun? Not a very good one, that’s for sure. I’m staying right here! Whether you want me to, or not!”

“Are you sure, Vino? I can watch your brother for you. I know how much you two have been looking forward to this.” Emma said, replacing the wet towel on Feliciano’s forehead.

“Si! Of course I am! I’m the fratellone, here, so I’m the one who’s gotta look out for Felice! Besides, I’m the man of the house! I’ve gotta protect you, too!” Lovino said, puffing his chest out a bit.

“Oh? Then in that case, you could help me with some household chores, Mr. Man-of-the-House.” Emma stated, laughter playing in her eyes.

“Uh… well, I’m still a _kid_ …” Lovino trailed off nervously, “And I still need to take care of Felice! But when he’s better we’ll _both_ help you around the house!”

“ _Hey!_ ” Feliciano cried, not sure if he liked his brother volunteering for him.

“I’ll look forward to it, then.” Emma said, not expecting it either way.

There was a knock at the door as three sets of footsteps came into the room. It showed their friends, Hazel, Riean, and Kalin.

“Hey, Feli. Heard you got sick. Sorry to hear that. And right before _Carnival,_ too! Man! What horrible timing!” Kalin complained, plopping down on Feliciano’s bedside.

“I’m sorry guys, you’ll just have to go without me. But bring me back something cool, okay?” Feliciano said, grinning.

“Huh?! What’re you _talking_ about, Feli?!” Riean asked, sitting in the now vacated chair, as Emma had gone to the kitchen to start lunch.

“Yeah!” Hazel spoke up, “It’d be no fun without you! Besides, you two are moving again soon, right? Searching for a better doctor to help you… So we’re not going to waste a minute of our time together!”

“Besides…” Riean spoke up again, “There’s no _way_ Lovi would go without you! He’s probably already talked you into letting him stay here with you, am I right?”

“Guilty…” Feliciano said, with a small smile. “But you guys really don’t have to! I mean—”

“Nope~! No way! We’re staying with you!” Hazel cut Feliciano off firmly. He sighed, seeing no way out.

“Fine… Grazie, you guys.” Feliciano said.

“So you missed a Carnival? That sucks!” America said, crossing his arms.

“Yeah… We’d been looking forward to it for _months_! You have no idea how big of a deal it was that the _Carnival_ was coming to _our_ little village. Everyone was stoked! I just wish I hadn’t gotten sick, but we all still got to spend time together.” I said, watching as the children in the memory played with a _trottola_ , or spinning top.

“Si… Isn’t that when you invented Pick-up-sticks?” Romano asked.

“Oh yeah~! I think so!”

“You invented that?! Dude! My people _still_ play it!” America said.

“I’m not sure if I _invented_ it per-say… I just thought it up one day. Someone else probably already came up with the same idea elsewhere…” I deflected. It was likely true, anyways.

The memory shifted again. _Ve… I’m getting so tired from all this… We’re not even through my childhood yet! If anything, we’re probably only halfway through my FIRST FREAKING CHILDHOOD! The crap?! I just want to fucking rest, is that really too much to ask?!_

I suddenly felt a wave of sharp fatigue wash over me, and I swayed, leaning against my brother.

“Itary-kun? Daijobu?!” Japan asked, worried. The others also looked at me with concern. They had, after all, just recently learned that we have a chink in our armor of immortality. They have reason to be worried.

“Ve~ I’m fine… I’m just tired, that’s all.” I said with a weary smile on my face. Romano caught the hidden meaning, though.

“Oi! Scone Bastard! Is there any way to pause this stupid thing so we can fucking _rest_?! I’m getting hungry and tired, damnit!” Romano complained.

“Ve~”

“Chigi.”

“Well… Let me see,” England said, just as the next memory popped up. The twins and their mother were packed up and ready to move again. It was a scene that was very familiar to Romano and I.

“I’m going to miss you, Feli…” Hazel said. She’d developed a small crush on me, but I—thankfully—never had to tell her that I didn’t see her as anything other than a friend. I think she knew that, and that’s why she never asked.

“We’re all going to miss you two… Come visit us if you can? And get better soon okay Feli? Find a good doctor who can cure you for good!” Kalin said decisively, Riean nodding his head in response.

“Of course! We’ll never forget you as long as we live!” Feliciano cried out, tears streaming down his face. “Ciao! Hazel! Riean! Kalin! It was fantastic to know you~!”

“Si! We’ll miss you guys! Grazie for everything!” Lovino called, as they and their mother had already started to travel.

“IDIOTS! WE’RE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE THANKING YOU!” Kalin called, also crying. Just as the memory was starting to fade back into the next one, England found what he was looking for.

“Ah! Found it!” England cried, before reading the spell in Latin. A deep green light shone, and we all found ourselves in a living room.

“Ve~ Where are we?” I asked, still too tired to stand up by myself.

“This is where we can rest. The memories have paused. There’s food in the kitchen, and bedrooms for us all. I could only make a few bedrooms, though, so some of us will have to share…” England said, looking rather proud of himself.

“I call sharing with fratello!” I yelled, happy to share a room with him again.

“Yeah, yeah. The Potato Bastard and the Albino Bastard can share a room, too.” Romano said, before leading me to the bedrooms.

They were all relatively the same, but I didn’t care. I was just _so_ tired… I just wanted to curl up and sleep.

Once Romano closed the door to our bedroom, he sat me down on the bed before sitting beside me.

“Are you okay?” He asked seriously, worry and concern shining in his eyes.

“Si… no headaches… well, okay, I lied. I have a small headache, but it’s a _normal_ headache. Not one of _those_ headaches. I’m just tired. It’s just the fatigue, that’s it. It’s normal. I’m just stressed, is all” I told him. The worry and concern didn’t go away, but he sighed in relief.

“Okay. Just don’t get sick on me, okay? We can’t get you to a hospital here, and there’s no way I’m going through all that shit again.”

“Grazie, fratello. Don’t make pasta tonight, okay? I don’t wanna miss it.” I slurred, already half-asleep. Romano just smiled softly. The kind of smile he reserved for me.

“Alright. We’ll have pasta for breakfast, so don’t miss it!” He said, already helping me take off my shoes and clothes. We were brothers, and preferred sleeping in the nude anyways~

“Si… Buonanotte, fratello… Ti voglio bene… Ve~”

“Ti voglio bene, fratellino. Sogni d’oro. Chigi.”

I don’t remember him taking off anything after my jacket. I fell asleep while he helped me. All I do remember, is Romano humming our mother’s lullaby softly to me as I slipped into a world of snowball fights and ash-colored wolves with our mother humming softly as we spent those wonderful, perfect days together.


	9. Chapter 8: Death's Fangs

I woke up the next morning with a bit of a stress-headache. Romano stirred awake beside me.

“Buongiorno, fratellone.” I muttered, stretching out my aches and stiffness.

“Buongiorno, fratellino. Headache again?” He asked.

“Si… just a little one, though.” I stated. He leaned over, and checked my forehead for a temperature.

“You’re good. No fever.” He told me, before climbing out of bed and helping me up. We got dressed before we went to the kitchen to start breakfast for everyone.

“You feeling okay today?” He asked me, concern shining in his eyes.

“Si, I’m feeling just fine. I think it has something to do with the memories, but I’ve actually been feeing quite a bit better~!” I explained.

“Good… I think. Damn, I just wish that we didn’t have to watch all these memories.” Romano sighed. _Hmm… I need to cheer him up…_

“Ve~ Lovi~ I want to surprise everyone, wanna help me?” I asked with a mischievous smile. Romano quirked an eyebrow.

“Depends… What sort of… surprise?”

“Come on, I’ll show you! Just get the camera ready~!” I said, already starting the preparations.

When the other nations finally meandered their way down to breakfast, they stared in shock. In front of them, lay each of their favorite breakfast dishes from their home countries. Made flawlessly. _CLICK!_ Romano took the picture with a flash, startling the others out of their stupor.

“How…?” China stuttered.

“Ve~ I looked up the recipes one time~ I thought that, after yesterday, you’d all appreciate a little taste of home, so Romano and I made this for you guys~!” I was acutely aware of Romano snapping more than a few pictures of their shocked faces. _That’s one for the scrapbook~_

“Thank you, Italy; Romano.” England said, truly grateful for some food from his house—though it was modified greatly. I’m Italian! I can’t just _make_ _British_ food of _all_ things! I have standards, regardless of what I’m making!

Everyone was very impressed with our cooking skills, to say the least. They dug in with great fervor. China and America offered to do the dishes, since we cooked.

“America?! _You’re_ offering to do the _dishes_ without being _told_ to?!” England gasped.

“Oh, shut up, Iggy! I _do_ have manners, you know! I just don’t use them at your place!” America shot back with a grin, before retreating into the kitchen after China, intent on finishing the task at hand.

“Ve~” I said quietly to Romano.

“Chigi.” He replied.

“Well, to continue the memories, we just need to head out through _that_ door. We’ll be able to return here whenever we need to, so don’t worry about that.” England said as he pointed to a white door connected to the living room.

I sighed. I didn’t want to watch more of my past. It was kinda depressing, after all… And judging by the start of that last memory, the next one will be about the next village…

Nobody wanted to continue the memories. It was an invasion of privacy, and everyone knew it. Even Russia seemed more than reluctant to go back to watching them, but the spell was already cast. The die have been rolled. _I wonder if this is also part of my price? How terrible that they should also have to shoulder my burdens. Especially fratello._ I shuddered slightly, fully aware of my brother watching me protectively.

“Ve~”

“Chigi.”

“Alright, the dishes are done.” America said, coming out of the kitchen with the others.

“I suppose we have to continue watching, don’t we?” France asked tiredly.

“I’m really against this, dudes. We’ve already seen too much…” America pointed out.

“I’m so sorry… there’s no other way…” England reminded us gently.

“I know… It’s okay, really!” I said, smile on my face. The others froze. They knew the smile was fake—it _had_ to be—but even though their _minds_ told them that it was fake, it looked absolutely genuine. If they didn’t know better, they would’ve believed that I was truly happy.

“Stop it. You’ll break them; they don’t know how good you are at acting…” Romano reminded me.

“Oh, you’re right. Sorry…” I smiled sheepishly. _A few thousand years of practice can go a long ways._ I thought dully to myself, as my hand gripped my Journal just a little tighter, before slipping it back into my shoulder bag—I happened to have grabbed it just before the spell hit.

“Alright… Let’s just get this shit over with. Judging by the memories, we’re just over halfway through our first childhood.” Romano said.

“Only _halfway?!_ ” America cried out.

“Wait… What do you mean, ‘first childhood’, aru?” China asked, confused.

“Oh, well we weren’t connected to our nation yet, so we continued to grow at a semi-constant rate. We were teenagers when we finally connected, and then shrunk. We call our ‘chibi-years’ our second childhood.” I explained.

“Chibi…? Where did Itary-kun learn about _that_?” Japan muttered to himself, unaware that I could hear him. I decided to let it slide. _I don’t want them to know about the Mansion before they have to…_

Romano pushed the Door open, and we all stepped through with varying amounts of hesitance. Before long, we found ourselves in yet _another_ village.

Feliciano and Lovino still appeared the same age—8—as they walked throughout the village.

“Ve… Vino I’m scared… The kids here are so mean… They’ll beat me up again, I _know_ it!” Feliciano said, obviously scared.

“Not while I’m around!” Lovino declared.

“They beat you up last time too…” He pointed out.

“W-Well… I was just having an off day! That’s all! Next time I’ll get them for sure!” Lovino stated.

“Oh no… They’re here…” Feliciano’s voice was small and timid as he clung to his fratello, his body shaking. Lovino also looked scared, but he put on a brave face for his brother.

“Hey! Demon Spawn! What are _you_ still doing here!? I thought we told you to go back to Hell!” A child—no older than 8—yelled viciously.

“How terrible!” France whispered out. All the nations have _seen_ children being bullied, but they usually put a stop to it when they could. But it was something completely different to see someone they knew being bullied as children. The fact that those children being bullied were nations didn’t make it any better.

There was a group of roughly 7 children coming towards the twins. They stopped a few feet away, hesitant to go nearer.

“Get outta here! Demons!”

“Devils!”

“Witches!”

“Evil!”

They started throwing rocks and sticks at the twins. Feliciano looked petrified. A particularly sharp rock cut his cheek. “Felice!” Lovino cried, shielding his brother with his own body. “Let’s go home…” He finally relented, leading Feliciano home again.

“That’s right! Go back to _hell!_ ”

I flinched at the cruel words. _I’m a devil? Demon? Evil? I should return to hell? Heh… Sorry, but Hell hasn’t been built yet, you little shit. I know… I’ve been there._

The nations watched sadly as Feliciano and Lovino stumbled home, tired and worn.

“Again?” Emma asked, medical kit already out.

“Yeah… They don’t like us…” Feliciano mumbled.

“That’s an understatement…” Lovino muttered.

Emma treated their wounds with a tender touch and a loving hand. “Now, I’ll talk to their parents again. Just try to steer clear of the village. Give them a few weeks to settle down. They’ll probably be mad that they got in trouble again, so you should avoid that place as much as you can, alright?” The twins nodded their heads solemnly.

“Momma…?” Feliciano started timidly. “Why… Why do they hate us?” His question was simple, but it hurt the nations to hear such a broken tone on such a happy child.

“Oh, Felice… They don’t hate you. They just…” She searched for the right words, bringing her two sons into a hug. “They just don’t understand. They know you’re different, and they don’t understand it. They don’t _want_ to understand it. People can be like that at times. When they don’t understand something, they hurt it. I don’t really understand why myself, but that’s just how some people are. That’s why we move so often, so they won’t see just how different we are.”

“Momma?” Feliciano asked again, quieter this time. “Am I a demon?”

“Itary-kun.” Japan said seriously, looking at me. “Don’t _ever_ believe that. You are a nation. You are _not_ a demon or devil or whatever they told you.” The other nations nodded their heads.

“I know _now_ … I just didn’t understand why I was so different _then._ But thank you. It means a lot to me.” I said, smiling. Romano smiled beside me, bringing me into a one-armed hug. _I know I’m not a demon… I know I’m not a devil… I’ve met him myself on multiple occasions… But I am a killer. I kill humans and nations… It’s my fault that they died so many times… And Grandpa Rome… and Holy Rome… My fault… it always is… One day, I’m just so terrified that Romano will die, too, and it’ll always be my fault. Always. _

Romano squeezed my arm lightly, knowing where part of my mind was trailing. “It’s not your fault, you know. I’m just as much at fault for those deaths as you are.” He whispered, referring to our _other_ abilities.

“I… I know, but… I still _feel_ them, fratello…” I whispered hoarsely. Japan gave us a worried glance. _So he heard us, huh? Well, it doesn’t matter much anymore. They’re going to find out soon. That memory’s coming up, after all…_

The memory blurred to show Feliciano and Lovino playing together in a field in the forest with Asher. “Vino~ Asher~ Come on~! Let’s go to the river!” Feliciano called, excited. “You promised me you’d teach me to swim!”

“Alright! I’m coming! Just slow down, I don’t want you getting in if it’s too cold, you know. We don’t want you getting sick again.” Lovino said, catching up with his twin.

Romano and I winced, remembering this memory. I blanched a bit. _The first time I almost…_

Romano gently squeezed my arm. “Ve.” He said. I smiled.

“Chigi.” I replied.

The nations watched as Lovino and Feliciano stripped down to the nude, and played in the water, Lovino showing Feliciano how to float first, and then move in the water, both being careful to stay in the gentle current. Asher was acting as a watch-out, making sure neither of the boys strayed into the deeper, more dangerous waters.

Eventually, Feliciano got the hang of it, and was even able to put his face underwater. The boys started a water fight, and were having a blast. Even Asher joined in.

“ACHOO!” Feliciano sneezed, stopping the fun. “Alright, time to go home, then.” Lovino said.

“Aww! But fratello~”

“No. You’re going to get sick if we continue like this. Now put your clothes on, and we’ll head home.” He said firmly. Feliciano sighed, and obeyed his brother.

The two walked back through the forest, admiring the natural beauty of the place. Asher seemed on edge for some reason, but the twins didn’t notice. The nations did, which set them on edge, too.

Asher suddenly started growling, causing the twins to fall silent. He was growling at something in the grass near Lovino. I gripped Romano’s arm, needing the comfort of him _being_ there.

“Asher? What’s wrong?” Lovino asked, not understanding.

He barked, and growled at the twins, trying to get them to move. Feliciano started pulling his brother away, realizing that there was some danger.

“A-Asher?” Lovino asked, scared that his companion was _growling_ at him like that.

“Fratello… Asher wants us to move… There’s something there…” Feliciano pulled again, making his brother stumble towards him and away from Asher.

A terrifying hiss came from the grass, as a snake lunged, attaching itself to Lovino’s ankle.

“ARGH!” He cried out in pain, as Asher lunged for the snake, managing to crush it in his jaws without hurting either of the twins.

The nations—especially Spain—were pale. They knew Romano was mortal to poisons, but they had yet to actually _see_ it like they had my illness.

Lovino was on the ground. It took Feliciano a moment to realize something was wrong—drastically wrong.

“Vino?! Vino?! Can you hear me?! Are you okay?!” Feliciano asked, on the verge of a freak-out.

“I… I’m fine, idiota… I just… Damn! This fucking bite hurts.” Lovino said, grasping the bite, which was still bleeding.

“Y-you need to get that looked at, Roma… J-just go to the hospital...” Spain said, not quite able to comprehend the situation.

“Idiot. There are no hospitals then. You know as well as I do… I’m a dead man.” Romano said darkly. I gently punched his shoulder. “And _don’t_ call me that!” He added shooting a glare at Spain, who held up his hands in the universal ‘I surrender’ motion.

“Stop being a dick, fratello. You survived. You’re not dead. That’s all that matters.” I said. “You scared me to death, you know that?”

“Lo siento. Grazie, for saving me.” Romano said in a whisper.

“Di niente.”

“Y-you’re not fine! D-damnit! Asher! Go get mom! HURRY!” Feliciano cried out, looking ready for a panic attack. Asher barked, and ran off for the house, the dead snake still in his mouth.

“R-Roma… Please hang on… Y-you’re a nation! You’ll be fine! You’re immortal in _every_ sense of the word, unlike me! You _have_ to be fine!” Feliciano pleaded.

“N-no… We both know… I’m not immortal to poison… I’m dying Felice… and I won’t come back. Like with you being sick.” Lovino seemed to be having trouble breathing. Feliciano put his brother’s head on his lap as he held him, tears streaming down his face.

“H-hey… Don’t cry, Idiota…” Lovino said, raising a hand weakly to brush away the tears.

“You _can’t_ die! You _can’t!_ You promised me! You _promised!_ Remember? You said you’d always be there for me. That you’d always protect me, and help me whether I wanted you here or not… You can’t just break it! You _can’t_!” Feliciano hugged his dying twin tightly.

“C-Can’t breathe…” Lovino gasped out, as Feliciano loosened his grip enough for his brother to get some oxygen.

“VINO! FELICE!” Emma’s voice called.

“MOMMA! OVER HERE!” Feliciano cried out.

“I’m tired…” Lovino said drowsily.

“NO! Don’t fall asleep, Vino! Please! Keep your eyes open!” Feliciano pleaded, shaking him a bit.

“I… I’m trying… But… sooo… tired…” Lovino struggled to keep his heavy lids open.

“MOM! HURRY!” Feliciano cried, as his mother ran into the field.

“Vino! Felice! What’s wrong?!” She asked, panicked.

“Vino was… He was bitten by a snake!” Feliciano cried out. “He’s not immortal to poisons and venoms! He can die! Please! Please help him!!!” Feliciano gasped out, still trying to keep Lovino from falling asleep.

Emma took Lovino into her arms, as Asher guided Feliciano to the house. The four of them came back to the house with the doctor already waiting there.

He spent about 15 minutes looking over Lovino, before coming out of the room, his face sullen.

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do. Your son is going to die. I estimate that he has about a day at most. You should say your goodbyes now.” He said, walking out the door without glancing back.

“No… No, no, no, no, _no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!_ ” Feliciano screamed, chasing after the doctor.

“Felice!” Emma cried, trying to grab his arm before he could do something drastic, but she missed. Feliciano put his famous Italian speed to good use, and caught up with the doctor in a matter of seconds. He didn’t stop running. He tackled the doctor, and started pounding on the surprised man’s chest.

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE HIM! NOT LEAVE HIM TO DIE! FIX HIM! FIX MIO FRATELLO!” Feliciano yelled, angry tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry, boy, but there’s nothing I can do. He’s going to die.” The doctor said gently.

“No… YOU’RE WRONG! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM LIKE I DO! HE’S STRONG! HE’S INVINCIBLE! IMMORTAL! HE WON’T DIE! He… he can’t… He promised me he’d stay with me forever… he swore it… he said he’d always be there… he… he _can’t_ die! HE CAN’T! YOU CAN’T SAY IT! HE CAN’T DIE! He’s mio fratellone… He’s too strong… to die…” Feliciano trailed off into sobs and hiccups. Emma finally caught up, scooping up her son with an apology to the doctor, as she carried the despairing child back into the house.

I was silently sobbing; Romano wrapped me up in a tight embrace to remind me that he was still there. The other nations just stared unable to process my utter despair at the mere thought of losing my brother. _You think this is bad? Wait ‘till we get to the Mansion._ I thought darkly at them.

The moment his feet touched the floor, Feliciano rushed into the room with Lovino. The nations stared. Lovino lay quite still on the bed, his face both pale and flushed, and he looked to be struggling to breathe. His ankle was wrapped up and visible, as he had kicked off the covers.

“V…Vino…?” Never in his life, had Feliciano ever seen his brother in such a weak, venerable state. It scared him; it terrified him. And he vowed then and there to never see it again.

Emma closed the door, leaving the twins to themselves. Feliciano slowly, mechanically, walked forward, and sat on the wooden chair beside Lovino’s bed.

“H-hey… wake up. I… I know you’re faking it… The doctor’s wrong. He _has_ to be. You don’t get sick like me… you’re the strong one…”

“Heh… Isn’t this ironic? I’m usually the one in the chair…” Lovino said, cracking open an eye.

“Vino! Please, tell me you’re playing! You’re faking it, right?!” Feliciano’s tone was desperate. It visibly hurt the nations to hear it.

“I… I’m sorry. Maybe I should’ve remained an asshole to you… Then you wouldn’t be in pain right now.” Lovino said.

“NO! I… _You’re_ the one in pain right now, fratello! Get better so we can play again! I had fun today, you know. You need to teach me how to swim!” Feliciano said, trying his best to avoid the inevitable.

“Idiot… Stop trying to kid yourself. I’m dying. I’m going to die, and I won’t come back. There’s no saving me. Poison is to me what illness is to you.”

“NO! You… You _can’t_ die!” Feliciano pounded his fists on the bed, tears streaming. The nations watched, hoping for another miracle tear, but they were all normal. No golden tear to make him magically better.

“You’re the _strong_ one! The _invincible_ one! The _immortal_ one! You were the one who was meant to be Italy, _not me!_ Please!” His anger faded to only despair, showing that he’d truly accepted the death of his brother. “Please… I can’t go on without you. I’ll stop fighting, too. You can’t die. Please… Didn’t you always promise to be there for me? To protect me? Who’s going to be there for me with you gone? Momma will die one day… she’s only human. We both know that. She won’t live to be a thousand like we will. I can’t live on forever if I’m alone. I need you here… Don’t leave me… please…”

“Feliciano… Oh, Veneziano… Fratellino… Ti voglio bene…” Lovino said quietly.

“Ti voglio bene, fratellone. Ve…”

“Chigi…”

“I…” Feliciano trailed off as he realized that Lovino had fallen asleep. He knew… He knew that Lovino didn’t even have a day.

“I… God… I don’t know if you’re there or not, but I’ve heard that you’re up there somewhere… You’re the one who created everything, right? Including us? I… Please! Please!” Feliciano bowed his head in prayer; his own hands clasped around Lovino’s pale one. “I can’t lose him! Oh, Dio… If you’re really there, please bestow upon us one of your divine miracles. Make him live. He _has_ to live. It’s not his time, yet. I _know_ it! _Please!_ I believe in you. If you do this one thing… Grant me this one wish, then I swear on all that I am, that I will always follow you. Please… Just don’t take my brother away from me. He’s all I have… Please…” He trailed off in broken Italian, too upset to form coherent sentences.

Romano cradled me, comforting me as I relived the emotions of the memory. “Shhh, Shhh, I’m still here. I kept my promise. I’m still here. I’m not dying.” Romano whispered into my ear, as I tried to quiet my hiccupping body. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

Feliciano, exhausted by his first prayer and emotional breakdown, laid his head down in his arms and started to fall asleep, tears streaming down his face at a steady rate.

“Please, God. I pray to thee… Save my brother. Amen.” He whispered. For just an instant, Feliciano glowed a brilliant white, and the nations swore they saw white angelic wings spread from his back. The glow transferred to Lovino. As soon as the glow died down, Lovino took in a deep breath in his sleep. He seemed to be breathing easier. Somehow, Feliciano started sleeping easier, too, as if he knew that somehow, his brother would be okay.

“Grazie…” He whispered in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys~! Thanks so much for all the comments! I’m so sorry this is late. I meant to update all my stories for New Years, and life got in the way. ^_^;   
> Please be sure to comment, and let me know what you thought of this chapter!
> 
> Anyhow, Happy 2016~! (I feel old, aru!) 
> 
> Pages: 8  
> Words: 3,568


	10. Chapter 9: Saving a Brother

“A miracle, aru?” China asked, awed. The nations kept staring between Romano and I and our younger selves in shock.

“Maybe I should convert to Catholicism?” Someone muttered, but I couldn’t tell who it was through my sniffles.

“Lovi… I didn’t realize that…” I trailed off, Romano also staring in shock.

“So this was when you first accessed it… So young, too. I couldn’t do that for a few more centuries, at _least_.” He muttered to me.

“Do what, if I may?” Japan asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Ah… It’ll come up later. We won’t be able to explain it well right now, so please just be patient.” I said, a teasing smile on my face. The others sighed in reluctant acceptance.

“But… I thought I was the only nation-Angel…” England muttered to himself in disappointment.

The memory sped up to morning. Lovino was just waking up. “Huh…? Feliciano…?” He asked, his voice already sounding stronger.

“V-Vino?! You’re okay?! How do you feel?! Are you sore?! Do I need to go get mom?! Are you weak?! Headache?! Water! You’re probably thirsty! I need to get you some water! Where’s the water?! Fuck!” Feliciano started freaking out, running around the room. Neither twin noticed Emma peeking in through the door to their room.

“ _Feliciano!_ ” Lovino finally cried out, making Feliciano freeze mid-step, a comical expression of anxiety and confusion on his face.

“Yes, Lovi?” He asked innocently.

“I’m _fine_. I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but I’m fine.” He assured his frantic little brother.

“But… maybe the bite wasn’t that bad? You’re sure you’re fine…? You’re really fine…?” Feliciano slowly walked over to the bed, tears ready to stream down his face again.

“I’m sure… I felt like death warmed over yesterday… I’m perfectly fine now. I don’t know why… Maybe some miracle…” Lovino trailed off as he found himself with an armful of Feliciano.

“THANK GOD! Thank _God!_ You’re _Alive! Thank God!_ Praise to the Lord God!” Feliciano cried out, beyond relieved. He was shaking. “Don’t you _ever, EVER,_ scare me like that, again, okay?! EVER! I don’t want to lose you… never… Okay…?” Feliciano said, refusing to let go of his brother as they snuggled under the covers together.

“Never… I promise.” Lovino stated. I hid my wince. _You don’t know it, Fratello… But at some point, you’ve broken every promise you’ve made to me…_

I spotted Emma in the doorframe, tears streaming silently down her aging face. “Thank you God…” She whispered under her breath. I blinked in surprise. I knew she wasn’t overly religious. She’d hardly mentioned God before, and soon after this memory, she’d start teaching us a bit of religion. But she’d never been the kind to get on her knees and pray. I knew she loved us both to death, and that she’d do _anything_ to protect us. Did she hear my prayer all those years ago? All those eons? My first prayer? Did she witness my miracle? The first time I accessed my Powers?

The scene faded into another one. Lovino looked much better, but was still in bed.

“Oi! I’m better now, so why can’t I just go to town with Feliciano?” Lovino demanded, looking frustrated.

“Vino, you still need another day of rest. Momma said so!” Feliciano shot back, giving his brother a mini-glare to keep him in place. “Momma just needs me to run to the market and grab us some stuff for dinner. I’ll be fine, Vino. Don’t worry so much.”

“Famous last words.” America said quietly, feeling like something bad was about to happen. Canada sighed at his brother’s antics, but let it slide. He’d actually been rather quiet recently.

“Fine. Not like I have much of a choice. Bedridden like this. Fucking annoying is what it is. How do you stand it?!” Lovino complained, as Feliciano whacked him on the back of his head.

“OW! What was that for?!” Lovino demanded.

“No cursing!” Feliciano said firmly, as Lovino blinked in disbelief.

“Wh… What? Since when?!”

“Since Mom’s around.” Feliciano whispered, gesturing to their mother’s humming in the kitchen.

“Okay… But why can’t _she_ go to the market? She knows how the bullies are…”

“I already asked her. The dinner she started… She thought she had all the ingredients, but she doesn’t. If she leaves it now, it’ll be ruined by the time she gets back. I’m going because I’m not only faster, but the pot needs to be watched constantly.” Feliciano explained.

“Still, man… After seeing what those kids were like before, I’m surprised that your mom let you go back…” America trailed off.

“I actually offered… I knew that we couldn’t afford to waste food. She was going to have me watch the pot while she went to town, but I wasn’t confident enough in my own cooking abilities yet to watch it. I could only make what I would later call pasta, at this point.” I said.

“You invented pasta?!” Germany’s eyebrows raised in shock.

“Si~ Well, modern Italian pasta. Why do you think I love it so much?! It’s my prized invention~ Plus, momma made the best pasta~” I trail off dreamily at the thought of Momma’s Pasta… _So good~!_

“Alright… Just be careful… I won’t be there for you if you get into trouble, what with me being in bed like this, so please don’t go getting into trouble…” Lovino trailed off nervously.

“Ve~ Fratello, I’ll be fine~!” Feliciano said.

“Chigi. I expect you back before dark. If you’re not back by then, then I’m coming to find you.”

“Of course you are. Ti voglio bene, fratellone.” Feliciano said from the door.

“Ti voglio bene, fratellino. Be careful.”

“Always.” With that, Feliciano ran out the door, and headed down the road to town.

The nations followed Feliciano as he entered the town. “Ve… Looking at the sun, it seems like I’ll have an hour or so before sunset… That should be enough time to get the food for momma~ She’s making some of her special stew to help Lovi get better~ Yay~!” Feliciano said to himself, as he hummed a little tune.

About a half-hour later, he was walking back through town, a basket in his arms as he carried the necessary ingredients home.

“Hey! It’s the little demon!” A young voice cried. An 8-year-old boy came out of the shadows. It was one of the same kids that tormented Feliciano and his brother in the earlier memory. There were about 8-10 other children there, too. Their ages ranged from about 6 to roughly 12.

Feliciano froze, fear flashing across his face. The nations also stiffened.

“Where’s your devil of a brother?! Huh?”

“I heard he died. Bitten by a snake, wasn’t he?”

“No! I heard he somehow _survived!_ He _must_ be the devil, if he lived through a snake bite! After all, a snake wouldn’t kill its master!” Another child said.

“So if his brother’s a devil, then _he_ must be one, too!” A young boy said.

“Yeah! That’s right! Stay away from him, before he burns us in Hell!”

“No!” Another child cried out, a disturbing smile on his face. “Look… This one’s scared of us. We have more on our side… Let’s just get rid of it while we can!”

The children started surrounding Feliciano, and the nations had a flashback to Marks and his gang. They watched in horror as the children ganged up on Feliciano, using sticks and rocks as weapons to beat the helpless nation. Feliciano curled in on himself to minimize the damage; the groceries lay forgotten on the side of the road.

The nations watched in revulsion and shock as the children mercilessly drew blood with sticks and stones and flesh and nails, each one hitting and kicking the young Feliciano. He cried out in pain, but for the most part, bit his lip and bore it.

“Hey!” One of the older children cried out, taking out something from his pocket. The nations froze. Feliciano’s eyes widened in fear as he, too, recognized the object. His pupils dilated as his fight-or-flight instincts truly took hold.

The child held a knife. And it scared Feliciano shitless. Two of the older children grabbed Feliciano from behind, and hauled him up to a semi-standing position. He tried his best to curl in on himself, but to no avail. His strength was spent, and his body was beyond listening to him. He could only stare in horror as the boy ran at him, knife positioned for his heart. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the blow. It never came.

He opened his eyes to see his brother, Lovino, on top of the knife-wielding child, breathing hard, showing that he’d run the distance from the house.

“AH! It’s true! He _is_ a demon!” A child cried, pointing at Lovino.

Lovino, for his part, looked livid. His green eyes shone red in the torchlight as he bent back the wrist of the knife-wielding child. There was an audible crack as the boy howled in pain. Lovino grinned and took the knife, stepping off the boy.

For a moment, with his glowing red eyes—courtesy of the torchlight—as he held that knife, he truly looked every part the demon the children claimed him to be. He took the knife firmly in his hands, and with hardly a grunt, snapped it in two.

Tossing the broken metal to the ground, he leveled a terrifying glare at the children. “Leave. Now. Before I decide to send you to hell to meet the _real_ devil for _daring_ to mess with my fratellino.” He growled.

The children scrambled, fear evident in their eyes, leaving a bloody and beaten little boy for his brother to deal with.

Lovino turned to Feliciano once the kids were gone. He nearly had a panic attack when he saw just how badly injured his little brother was.

“O-Oi! Fratellino! You alright?! What did they _do_ to you?!” Lovino cried out in worry and panic, hoisting his nearly deadweight brother up, and pulling his arm around his shoulder.

“I… It’s nothing I haven’t had to deal with before, Vino… G-grazie for saving me, again… I… I’m such a hopeless idiot! I’m always being rescued by you… Why can’t I fight? Even just once! I want to be the one to protect you, fratello…” Feliciano cried tears of frustration and pain. He was beyond disappointed with himself for his weakness, his unwillingness to fight.

“Because I’m the fratellone, the older brother. I’m supposed to protect _you_. Not the other way around. But I suppose I could spar with you if it bothers you _that_ much… That way if someone else tries to bully you, you’ll actually be able to defend yourself until I show up.” Lovino said. Feliciano grinned brightly.

“Really?! You mean it, fratello?! You’ll teach me to fight?!”

“Si… I don’t really know how to fight myself, but… Aw fuck!” He cried as he looked at the remains of what was supposed to be their dinner. “It’s stomped to dust! Now what’re we going to bring home?! We can’t afford to buy more!” He complained. Feliciano looked sadly at the ground.

“Ve…” He muttered sadly. “I’m sorry… If I’d been better at protecting it…”

“Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. It was theirs. Nobody else’s.” Lovino said.

The twins stumbled through the door, both out of breath. Emma was waiting with the medical kit ready once more, and smiled sadly at her boys. “Honestly, what am I going to do with you two? When Vino just ran off yelling ‘my fratellino’s in trouble! I _know_ it! He _needs_ me!’ I didn’t know what to think. Now you two come back a mess. I suppose we’re due for another move?”

“We sorta might’ve accidentally on purpose scared the crap out of every child in the village?” Feliciano said timidly. Emma blinked, but said nothing.

“And… I maybe sorta kinda might’ve _accidentally_ jumped on top of the mayor’s son and broken his wrist…” At Emma’s look, he explained. “But he was about to stab Felice with a knife! I swear!”

“It’s true, momma! He took out a knife and was about to stab me. I would’ve died if Vino hadn’t have arrived when he did.” Feliciano said quickly.

“I’m not mad. I’m very proud of you standing up for your brother, Vino.” Emma said with a sigh, before she smiled. “Now you two have had a busy day. We’ll move as soon as Feli’s wounds are healed, so we’ll start packing tomorrow. But for now, head to sleep, my little angels.” She said with a smile, kissing them both on the foreheads. “I’ll bring you some dinner when it’s ready.”

The boys paused at their door, listening. They heard Emma heave a heavy sigh. “I’m getting old… I’m already 74… How much longer will I be able to protect them? They’re still only children… They’re not ready to be on their own yet… But I’m already so old and worn and tired… I just need to make sure they’ll be able to take care of themselves and each other before I go… That’s all. I plea to thee, oh Lord God; please don’t take me until they’re ready. Amen.”

The twins silently closed their bedroom door, and crawled into bed together. They looked at each other with blank expressions; eerily similar to the ones they had when they first told their mother that Feliciano wasn’t supposed to exist.

The nations shivered, not used to seeing them look so vacant. It just seemed wrong. I smiled at them softly, trying to make them just a little more comfortable.

With a nod to one another, and no words exchanged, the twins climbed out of bed, and sat on their knees. They spoke in perfect unison.

“God… We know you’re there. Please don’t take our mother yet. We still need her. Please watch over us and guide us; keep us safe and sound.” Lovino stopped there, but Feliciano continued, his brother looking at him in surprise. “If you must take her from us, as we know you must some day, please give us the power to grant her wish. Please… I want to be able to protect Lovino like he can protect me.” Lovino joined back in, at this point, their voices joining up in sync once more. “We say these things in humble plea, Amen.”

The nations said nothing as they watched the twins crawl back into bed, and hold each other in a gentle hug, each one taking comfort in the other’s presence. The memory faded.

“Dude, you really weren’t liked by those kids.” America said, avoiding the touching and very _private_ scene they’d just witnessed.

“That’s an understatement…” I muttered.

“Why? Those children from the other villages may not have liked you much, but these ones seemed to really hate you.” Canada pointed out.

“Our nation presence was starting to filter through.” Romano said, turning to the nations with a serious expression. “We didn’t realize it at the time, though. We felt different to the children—as they were much more aware of these things than the adults—but they didn’t know why. They only knew we were different, and naturally became afraid. Humans fear what they cannot understand. This has been proven to us many, many, _many_ times over the past two millennia. The thing is, our Nation Presence back then was warped… Different, due to our premature birth. It didn’t give out a sense of comfort or safety like usual, but just… strangeness.” He finished.

“Romano.” Spain stated seriously, grabbing my brother by his shoulders, and looking him straight in the eye. “Don’t you _ever_ scare me like that again, okay?” He brought his charge into a hug, tears streaming silently down his face.

“O-oi… Tomato Bastard….” Romano said quietly, before hugging him back. I smiled sadly, wishing that I, too, could find comfort in someone. Everyone here was nice, and all, but Germany was too stoic for me to hug him like that, and so was Japan… _How nice it would be if Hungary or Austria were here to give me comfort…?_ I thought to myself. Hungary was my mother figure after our mother had… died… And Austria was like the father I’d never known. Christopher and Emma would _always_ be my true, real, parents, but Hungary and Austria came very, very close.

_No._ I thought again, _I wouldn’t want them to see this… It’s bad enough that the others are watching them, but for my adoptive parents to see it too?! That’d just be… no… Besides, the Mansion’s in here, somewhere, I’m willing to bet… It was a pretty big part of my life, after all. I’d be shocked if it wasn’t in here. Even Romano doesn’t know about the Mansion, though…_

I shivered, recalling the next memory, as we watched Emma, Feliciano and Lovino set out on the road once more. _I hope they don’t hate me._ I looked down at my hands, practically envisioning the blood dripping. _After all… the next memory will show me for the murderer I truly am… All those people I’ve killed… That I still kill… Millions from every nation… I hope they don’t push me away, but even I hate myself._

“Lo siento…” I whispered, as the next memory finally started to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been going through a lot lately, and I’ve found myself in a pretty deep depression for reasons that I don’t fully understand, myself. I’m looking for a job, living with my dying mother, and trying to stop self-harm with only one person as support in a completely different state. I apologize to those of you waiting for an update for some of my other stories. I’m updating this one because the chapter was already written and I felt the need to explain where I’ve been. Don’t be too shocked if my stories don’t update for a month or two, but I won’t let them go for 6 months without updating again. Haha. ^_^; yeah… Anyhow, I’ll try to update at least this story every month at least until I’m caught up to where I’m writing. 
> 
> Until then, I hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter! Please look forward to the next update, and don’t forget to vote for the poll on my ff.net profile page. ^_^


	11. Chapter 10: General Winter

Romano was the first to notice my distress. “Felice? You okay?” His question drew the attention of the others. Romano then sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. “Idiota. They won’t reject you from that…” He said softly.

“B-but… they’ll be sickened by me! I _know_ it! I’m a murderer, after all! The blood of millions of humans! On _my_ hands!” I cried out, making the other nations flinch back in surprise. The surprise turned to horrified shock as my words registered.

“Itary-kun? What do you mean?” Japan asked gently, not sure whether or not to believe my words given my current state of mind.

“Don’t listen to him.” Romano said softly, though everyone heard him.

“Idiota…” He said to me. “It’s not your fault. You can’t control it… you can’t stop it. You’d be dead right now if you didn’t have that power…”

“But… I’m sorry fratello, you’re right… I… I just…” I sighed, not wanting to sound ungrateful, but at the same time the guilt was overwhelming. Romano’s face also shone with guilt.

“I’m so sorry, Felice… I only did what I had to… I regret nothing.” He said firmly.

“I know, Vino… I’m not mad at you… I never have been. I’m grateful for my life, really I am!” I said, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “But… it’s hard sometimes, you know? The guilt never goes away…” I looked at my hands. For a moment, they dripped with an endless amount of blood. What sickened me the most was that the blood belonged to not only humans, but _children_ and my friends, too. “The blood is still there…”

The next memory finally popped up, as the travel scenes that’d been showing finally teetered off to show the four of them—Asher, remember?—in another house.

“We’d been living in this house for about 2 years or so by this point. We’re 45 in this memory.” Romano explained.

There was a thick layer of snow outside, covering the forest in a blanket of untouched white. Many of the nations sighed as they were reminded of older, simpler times.

Lovino, Feliciano, Asher, and Emma were huddled up together around a fire. They all looked thin and tired.

“Momma? I’m hungry… Can Vino and I go hunt?” Feliciano asked.

“Hunt? You hunted?” Canada asked, mildly surprised.

“Si… Vino and I had started learning how to hunt when we were 30. We were quite good at it, too… Momma was too old by this point to hunt, and the cold hurt her joints… She was aging so quickly…” I sighed, but shook my head. “This winter was particularly harsh. We had little-to-no food, and the village didn’t take too kindly to us. They didn’t have a good harvest that year, so they weren’t too generous with donations. We were also low on money, so it was bad all the way around.” I concluded.

“Alright, but be careful. Be home before dark, a storm’s supposed to roll in tonight. See if you can catch something, but don’t push past dark.” Emma warned, as Feliciano and Lovino grabbed their bows and arrows, specially made for their size.

“We will, momma!” Feliciano and Lovino called back in sync.

“Asher!” Lovino called with a sharp whistle. Asher dashed over, and stood beside the twins, ready for a good hunting trip.

The scene faded into the next. It had obviously been a few hours since they’d left, but the twins were crouching in some nearby bushes. Feliciano stealthily, smoothly, and _silently_ scampered up a nearby tree. He and Lovino redied their arrows, and took aim. Their target was a nearby buck. It looked healthy and large enough to feed the family for a few weeks, if they rationed it right.

As if some silent signal passed between the twins, they both fired, tagging the buck in one go. Once their meal-to-be was secured, Lovino and Feliciano tied it to a strip of wood that they’d prepared. They then tied it to Asher, who proceeded to pull it—and the deer—home.

That was when it all went wrong. The storm had come hours earlier than expected. The three were caught in the middle of it. The nations followed the twins as they finally navigated their way back. Romano kept looking at Feliciano.

After what seemed like hours, Lovino led Asher into the house with their kill. The nations let out sighs of relief, but Romano and I only tensed further, anxiety welling up within us both.

“Momma! We’re back! We brought deer!” Vino said.

“Itary-kun…” Japan started slowly, as they watched as Emma came to greet him. “Where are you…?” His question made the nations freeze.

“Vino, where’s your brother?” Emma asked urgently. Lovino whirled around, expecting his twin to be right behind him.

“F-Felice!” He cried, running back out the door, and into the horrific blizzard.

“VINO! COME BACK!” Emma cried as she attempted to follow him out into the storm. She couldn’t even make it more than a few feet outside the house, before her joints locked up. Asher nudged her back inside, before following after his alpha.

“I’ll come home soon, mom! I’m going to go find him!” Lovino called back, not slowing down his pace.

The nations watched with rising panic as Lovino trudged through one of the worst blizzards they’d seen. Even Russia would’ve been hard-pressed to go out in that storm.

“FELICE!” Lovino called, his voice lost to the winds. “FELICIANO! VENEZIANO ITALY IF YOU DON’T COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I SWEAR! I’LL… I’ll… I DON’T KNOW WHAT YET, BUT YOU WON’T LIKE IT! PLEASE… FELICIANO CHIGI VARGAS!” He cried, as he continued trudging through the snow.

Sometimes, he’d fall into a particularly deep patch of snow, and sink in up to his shoulders or neck. He was shivering badly, and some of the nations were afraid he might collapse in the snow, and die from exposure. They were more worried about me. After all, unlike my brother, I was able to die from this sorta thing.

Lovino kept going, though. Retracing his path as best he could, but even he kept getting turned around in the blizzard. He could hardly see his own hand in front of his face.

Suddenly, a loud sharp bark from Asher made Lovino turn. “W-what is it-t, Asher?” He stuttered, too cold to speak straight. Asher only barked again, and dug at a spot in the snow. Lovino’s eyes widened, as he fell to his knees and started digging desperately.

At last, he found a hand. The nations froze. It was my hand. Feliciano’s hand.

Lovino pulled a frighteningly pale Feliciano from the snow. He wasn’t shivering, nor was he conscious, but he was breathing. Asher barked, again, before running a few feet away and back, wanting Lovino to follow him. Lovino dragged his brother as best he could after Asher, who kept barking, rushing ahead, and then rushing back.

Eventually, Lovino found himself in a cave. It was damp and cold, but it was out of the snowstorm. He sighed as he dragged Feliciano in. He then got a pretty good look at his brother, and so did the other nations. It seemed surreal. Feliciano was a pale grayish color, and was no doubt on his way to severe frostbite soon. He was, thankfully, breathing, but his breaths were shallow and slow. Hypothermia.

“F-fuck… I-I need t-t-t-to… G-g-get him… warm, somehow…” Lovino said, before he pulled open his brother’s jacket, and opened his own. He brought Feliciano into a hug, trying to use some of his body heat to warm him. Asher joined in, too, his fur likely warmer than bare human skin—once you got past the snow.

Despite his best efforts, it didn’t seem to be working. “No… You can’t leave me like this, Felice! I won’t let you!” Lovino cried.

China and Japan stared. They kept looking from Feliciano to me. “How did you survive, aru?!” China asked suddenly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad your alive, but…”

“What China-san means, Itary-kun, is that… by all means you should be dead… The state you’re in, in this memory, is mere _minutes_ from death’s door. Without proper, _modern_ medical treatments _now_ you’re going to die…” Japan said, unable to see how I could’ve lived.

“In a way… I think I did die… I sacrificed something great, but it was well worth it.” I said, turning back to the memory.

“Just watch.” Romano said, cutting off the others’ questions.

Lovino started sobbing, holding his brother close. He knew there was nothing more he could do. That his brother was as good as dead.

“How I hate my job…” A wizened old voice echoed through the cavern. Russia’s eyes widened in recognition, as did Canada’s. They also realized just how dire the situation was if _he_ was there.

“W-who’s there?!” Lovino demanded, tightening his grip on Feliciano. An old man with a white beard and white hair with skin as pale as snow, and eyes like blue ice, stood at the entrance of the cavern. He was dressed in a dark blue coat and scarf with a hat atop his head and a cape billowing in the blizzard. He didn’t seem bothered by the cold, and he actually seemed to meld in with the raging storm behind him.

“I am known as General Winter.” He said. The nations gasped.

“No… If he’s there…” Canada trailed off.

“He came for me.” I said softly.

“Why are you here?!” Lovino demanded. General Winter only pointed towards his brother. “Felice?! No! You can’t have him! He’s my brother!”

“I’m sorry, child… It pains me, it truly does… but I must… It is the law… A balance must be maintained.” He spoke without emotion. It was obvious that he’d spoken the lines many times. “I have come for the one known as Feliciano Vargas. Personification of Northern Italy.” He stated.

“No… NO! He’s my _brother_ does that mean _nothing_ to you?! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM FROM ME! OVER MY DEAD BODY!” Lovino snapped out.

“I do not want to kill more than I must…” He said tiredly.

“No! Take me! Leave my brother, and take me for your stupid balance!” Lovino cried. “You need to kill someone, right?! To keep that balance you were talking about?! Then _take me!_ ”

I whacked Romano on the back of the head. “OW! The fuck Felice!?”

“Don’t you _dare_ try to trade your life for mine!” I glared.

“Damnit… You didn’t hold back, either…” Romano muttered, grasping his head.

“Nope~ Ve.”

“Chigi.”

“I cannot. One life does not equal another. His life is to end today.” General Winter spoke again, moving towards the twins. Asher was growling, but he knew not to approach the man—to touch him would be death. The nations shivered, unable to see how Lovino had gotten me out of this alive.

“PLEASE! There must be _something_ I can do! ANYTHING!” Finally, the General stopped.

“ _Anything_ …?” He asked.

“Yes! ANYTHING!” Lovino shouted, wild hope shining in his eyes. The General paused to consider something.

“Very well. I will spare your brother’s life on one condition… _He_ becomes the new General Winter.”

The nations froze, unable to comprehend the statement. They turned to me, and I flinched into my brother.

“What? But why him!? I can do it!” Lovino demanded.

“No… _He_ is the one destined to die today. If _He_ becomes the new embodiment of Winter, then he will survive this night. He will become immune to cold and all that comes with it. He will never shiver of cold, nor will he ever contract illnesses of the cold or anything of the like. But be warned. He will become sensitive to heat. He will have to learn how to control his powers and emotions. If he becomes too angry, he could ice-over the entire world.” The nations shivered at the thought. “But more than that, he will _become winter_ and _all_ that it entails. Winter is not always pretty. He will kill. Many. Whatever winter kills, _he_ kills.” General Winter said. Something clicked for the nations. What I’d said earlier, about how I’m a murderer, and how I’ve killed millions.

“Oh, Italien…” Germany sighed sadly. But none looked more sorrowful than Russia.

“Alright… If it’ll save my brother… he might hate me forever, but at least he’ll be alive to hate me…” Lovino said.

“Are you sure? There will be no turning back from here on out.” General Winter said.

“Yes. But one question… Why? Surely, others have pleaded as I have? Why have you given only me this chance?”

“Because you and your brother are not human. Humans could not handle my powers. They would die. As for why I’m making this deal in the first place… I’ve been around for billions of years… I’m old and tired. I am worn… I wish for nothing more than Eternal Slumber… By handing over my powers to someone else, I can pass the gauntlet on, and finally sleep.” He said, a wistful smile on his face. “I will stay only long enough to teach him to use his powers. Three Winters. That is all.” He said.

“Are you ready?” General Winter asked, kneeling down next to the twins.

“Si.” Lovino said, laying Feliciano on the cold ground. General Winter placed his hands on either side of Feliciano’s temples. He closed his eyes, and concentrated. An icy-blue white glow started enveloping the two. Feliciano’s face scrunched up in pain, but color started returning to his skin. He made no sound.

At last, General Winter stood, holding Feliciano in his arms. “It is done.” He said. He looked lighter, happier than before. As if some great burden had suddenly been lifted.

“Is he alright?!” Lovino demanded.

“He is fine. He will live, young one.” The General said as he started walking out of the cave. The blizzard seemed to part for him. Lovino and Asher followed close behind, staying in the bubble of protection that calmed the storm.

At long last, they made it to the house. The General turned to Lovino. “When he wakes, he will be confused and disorientated.” He pulled out a necklace. It was a beautiful snowflake made of ice on an ice chain. “This will not melt. Have him wear it at all times. It will keep him sane until his training is finished.” The General said, fastening it around Feliciano’s neck. Instantly, Feliciano’s face, which had still been scrunched up in pain, relaxed.

“Sane…?” Someone asked, but their voice was ignored in favor of watching the memory unfold.

“Head inside. Our training will commence in three days. Have him meet me in the clearing nearby at sunrise. Don’t be late.” He warned, as he vanished back into the blizzard.

Asher and Lovino, who was now carrying Feliciano, walked back into the house, tired, cold, and scared shitless.

“VINO! FELICE!” Emma cried upon seeing her sons. She immediately babied the two boys.

“Momma… I met General Winter today…” Lovino said, making Emma stop.

“Y-you what…?” She knew the legends. To see General Winter meant you—or someone with you—was going to die.

“He came for Felice… I told him he couldn’t take my brother. We made a deal. He made Feliciano into the new General Winter. He’ll start training him in three days… He said he’ll no longer become sick or be killed by snow or cold or anything like that… D-did I do the right thing, momma? What if he hates me when he wakes up? He’s _Winter_ now… He’s strange even by nation standards! He’ll kill millions and blame himself! All because he can’t stop the cold from coming with the Winter! What if he can’t handle it?! I didn’t even ask him! What if he… what if he hates me…?” Lovino looked so sad and scared at the mere thought of his brother hating him.

“Vino, I could _never_ hate you.” I said truthfully. Even after _That Loop_ in the Mansion, I didn’t hate him. I could _never_ truly hate him. “A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole, idiota.” I reminded him.

Romano smiled, and leaned into me. “I’m the one who’s supposed to call _you_ idiota, _idiota._ ”

The scene changed again. Lovino was sitting beside Feliciano’s bedside once more. The nations realized with a start just how used to seeing this scene they’d become. It scared them a bit, just how easily they accepted seeing Feliciano— _me_ —lying in a bed weak and frail.

Lovino laid with his head in his arms, dozing lightly, as Feliciano started to stir. He cracked open a golden eye, and stared at the ceiling, with a puzzled look on his face. He reached up his right hand and fingered the necklace given to him by General Winter, his puzzled expression only deepening. Finally, he turned to Lovino.

“Vino…?” At the sound of his brother’s voice, Lovino’s head whipped up.

“Felice! You’re okay!” He cried in joy, hugging his brother. Feliciano hugged back, though terribly confused.

“What happened? What’s wrong? Did I collapse again?”

“N-no… You were… You almost died in that blizzard… you fell behind after our hunt, and I didn’t notice until we got home… I… I found you buried in the snow… Well, Asher found you, I just dug you out, and…” Feliciano waited patiently for his brother to continue. “I managed to drag you to a cave… To wait out the storm. But you were dying… I could _feel_ it… You… you weren’t going to make it… Then… then _he_ came… General Winter came for you.” Feliciano stiffened.

“He… came? For me…?”

“Si… I… I struck a deal with him… there was no other way! I swear it! I… I understand if you hate me for it, but…”

“Vino? What is it?” Feliciano asked, scared.

“I… The only way he’d spare you is if you became the new General Winter…” Lovino closed his eyes and cringed back, as if expecting an explosion.

“Okay.” Feliciano said simply.

“O-okay?! That’s _it_?! I… You’re _Winter_ now! You’ll be forced to _kill_ people!” Lovino cried.

“I know. I know what Winter does to people, fratello. Hell, I’m usually its victim… I guess not anymore, huh? I wonder if I can still die from exposure?”

“No… you can’t. At least that bastard, General Winter, said you couldn’t. He said you’ll never get cold again, and you’ll never get sick from being cold, either.”

“Really?! Awesome! We can have awesome snow days, now fratello! Even in Summer~!” Feliciano cheered.

“I don’t think you really understand, Veneziano.” Lovino said.

“I know.” Feliciano said seriously. “I know I don’t understand yet. I can’t comprehend something I haven’t experienced yet. I don’t feel very different, though…” Feliciano said, as he held his hand out in front of him.

“That necklace you’re wearing dampens your powers, I think.” Lovino said. “He said not to take it off until your training is done. Some shit about you going insane, so you’d better listen!”

“I will, fratello… I promise… and grazie, for saving my life.”

The scene changed once more, showing the brothers and Asher hiking out to the clearing.

“What’s he like, Vino?”

“I’ve told you! He’s big and a bastard!”

“That’s not very nice!”

“I don’t have to be nice! He almost _killed_ you.” Lovino pointed out.

“Indeed I did.” General Winter said, appearing before the children without a sound. The twins jumped, as Asher yelped in alarm, also startled.

“Feliciano Vargas, I am General Winter. I will teach you for Three Winters about your new abilities.” He said, getting straight to business. Lovino and Asher sat beneath a tree to watch.

“You may have already discovered a few abilities. You can create, control, manipulate, and disperse snow, ice, frost, sleet, and cold.” He held up his hand and formed an ice snowflake like Feliciano’s necklace.

“Now you try. Concentrate. Imagine the object’s appearance in your mind, and _will_ it into being.” He said. Feliciano held up his hand, and concentrated. A swirl of icy-blue white energy swirled in his palm before taking shape into a sloppy, but still recognizable snowflake made of ice. It was nowhere near as detailed as General Winter’s, but it was a start.

“Good. Now again. You’ll do it again and again, until you get it to look as detailed as mine. Then we’ll move on.”

“General Winter was a harsh teacher.” I said, catching the attention of the other nations. “He was strict and no-nonsense, but he was kind once you got to know him. And he never breaks his promise. Ever.”

“Da… General Winter can be a very good friend and ally.” Russia said.

“Yes… He once promised to never forget me… He hasn’t forgotten me once.” Canada said happily.

We were treated to a little montage of my training with General Winter. It included both hilarity and embarrassing mess-ups, pranks pulled on Lovino and Asher, and serious training on emotion management and power control. Plus many, _many_ lectures. He talked my ear off, almost literally.

Finally, the day came where my training was finished, and he was to remove my necklace. He snapped his fingers, and the snowflake necklace fell from Feliciano’s neck. A shockwave of pure energy emitted from the child, as he doubled over, clutching his head. A snowstorm kicked up around him, encircling him as he cried out in pain.

“THE VOICES!” Feliciano cried.

“Voices…?” America asked, worried.

“The voices of all those touched by winter.” I stated, creating a mini blizzard in the palm of my hand. “Every life, human or otherwise, touched by my snow, is touched by me. I can see them, hear them, feel them. It’s like the connection to our people. From the old man shoveling snow from his driveway to the little boy freezing to death in the woods. Every nation. Every being. I feel them all. At the time, Vino and I weren’t connected to our nation. We didn’t know about the connection between a nation and their people yet. We hadn’t experienced it. This was my first taste, and I didn’t particularly like it. Then again, it’s probably something akin to joining with your nation in the middle of a large disaster, minus the pain. I could hear hundreds of thousands of people crying out in the cold. Dying. I was only 8 emotionally, you understand. I didn’t know how to handle it. Sometimes, I still don’t.” I admitted.

“They aren’t your fault.” Japan said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Ja… You may be winter, but winter has to come at some time. Without death there would be no life.” Prussia said.

“Funny; General Winter told me the same thing.” I told him.

“Feliciano!” Lovino cried out, trying to run to his brother.

“No.” General Winter stopped him from reaching Feliciano. “He must overcome this himself, if he is to truly become the embodiment of winter.”

“But! He’s in _pain_!” Lovino said, unable to stand there and watch his brother suffer.

“He _must_ overcome this himself.” General Winter repeated.

“V-Vino!” Feliciano ground out through gritted teeth. “H-he’s right! L-Let me h-handle t-this!” Lovino stood back, not happy in the least with his brother’s decision.

After almost an hour of struggling, Feliciano straightened up. “I…” he started, before his eyes glowed white as snow, and power poured out of his every pore. “I AM WINTER!” He cried, raw power lacing his voice. With that cry, another shockwave of energy was released, and the storm calmed.

“Well done! You have become one with your power.” General Winter said, pride shining in his eyes.

“I… I can still hear them… Are they the people touched by winter?” Feliciano asked, disturbed by the voices suddenly appearing in his mind.

“Yes. They’ll follow you until the day you die. I, myself, can still hear them.” He said.

“I see… I suppose I’d better get used to them then…” Feliciano said solemnly; his eyes had nearly lost that innocent sparkle. It was still there, but it had dulled, saddening the nations.

“Vino~ Look!” Feliciano said, creating a snow bunny in front of him, and animating it so it moved like a real rabbit. “I can make you some pets that don’t eat your food, now!” He teased.

“OI!” Lovino started to chase Feliciano around the clearing, starting a major snowball fight. It was hilarious and lighthearted and full of fun, and even General Winter joined in at some point. Feliciano and the General created snowpeople to join in the war, and it became a frenzy of snow flying _everywhere_.

“YOU ARE ON ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA’S AWESOME TEAM!” Prussia cried out, causing a few nations to chuckle. The lighter atmosphere was greatly appreciated, after all the pain and sorrow that we’d witnessed so far.

“Ve~”

“Chigi.”

“Hey, dude! California’s in a bit of a drought right now, d’ya think that you could—”

“Sorry America,” I cut him off. “It doesn’t work that way. I have to keep the balance. The last time I let it get outta whack, I almost set off another ice-age.” The nations shivered at the thought. “I’m _that_ powerful. I _am_ the sole embodiment of winter, after all. If I don’t keep a firm hold on my emotions, then I could cause some serious environmental issues. And before you say anything, Global Warming has _nothing_ to do with me as a season. Or Summer, for that matter.” I state, adding a sidelong glance to Romano.

“Aw man!”

“But I _wouldn’t_ be breaking any rules or boundaries if I… made us a little snow-day when we get back~” I say, gesturing to the snowball fight in the memory. Even General Winter was having a blast.

“I was thinking we could invite General Winter to come too, дa?” Russia asked.

“Ve~ Sure! I haven’t seen him for a few centuries~ It’ll be nice!” I smiled, enjoying the thought.

“Just don’t push yourself.” Romano mumbled to me.

“Si…” I muttered back, before turning to the others. “Grazie… For not abandoning me.” I said, mentally wincing at my choice in words.

“ _Abandon_ you?! Why would we do something like _that_?!” Germany asked.

“Well… I’ve killed millions of people… humans… even _children_ from _every_ nation. Including yours. Every year. Hypothermia, cold exposure, any number of things. Even suffocation via snow! I… I’ve taken so many lives, and I… I thought you’d hate me for it…” I said, looking at my hands. _I can still see the blood…_

“Itary-kun.” Japan said, placing his hands over mine. I looked up, startled. He smiled at me gently. “It isn’t your fault. Like we said, your season must come regardless. To have life, there must be death. We may not like it, but it’s necessary. It’s not your fault. You can’t help it.”

“I… I once tried to stop it.” I said quietly. “I tried to stop winter from coming… I held it back for 3 weeks. I nearly died because of it. The rebound nearly caused the second ice-age, and I vowed to never hold it back for so long again.”

“Would you happen to have had anything to do with that recent cold-snap in Slovenia?” Canada asked delicately. I flinched.

“Yes. I… I was very sick and in a stressful situation.” I admitted. “I had a temporary lapse on my power control. Luckily, General Winter picked up the slack for me until I recovered, but…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Romano said.

“That explains the heavy snowfall in southern Utah…” America muttered to himself.

“Wait! You were sick, aru?! Recently, aru?! I thought you said you were better now, aru!” China said, making the other nations’ eyes widen in realization.

“Si. Nation or not, though my immune system is much better now, I can still get sick. Just last month I caught a nasty cold that had me stuck in bed for days! It was such a pain.” I said.

“So you weren’t at the meetings…?” Japan trailed off.

“Si… I was in the hospital for a while. I was pretty sick a few months back, and I… well… I nearly died again. But anyways, that’s still a ways up. It’s not overly important, so I’m not sure if it’ll even show up in the memories. We’re still only just finishing up our childhood, and then… Oh, Dio! Our teenage years!” I paled rapidly.

“Oh crap!” Romano also followed my lead and started paling. The nations didn’t quite know what to do.

“What’s so bad about it?” America asked. We just looked at each other.

“Japan? Remember that time in World War Two…?” He looked at me puzzled, for a moment, before his eyes widened.

“Oh… So it happened then?” He asked, now understanding part of why I was so nervous.

“Si…” The other nations just looked between Romano, Japan, and me.

“I suppose we’ll just have to wait until the memories come, oui?” France finally said, giving me a comforting look. _Yeah… Still on my shit list, Francie~!_ I thought back snidely as I gave him a gentle smile. _Sometimes, I wonder what the others would say if they knew what I was thinking._

I turned back to the memory, watching as our past selves played in the snow. Momma had come out and joined us, now. It was all of us. Vino, Asher, Momma, General Winter and myself… We were all playing together in the snow, laughing and having an absolute blast. I smiled, reaching for Vino’s hand. We watched together in contentment one of the last happy memories we had together with our mother. This day was forever ingrained in our minds, and we would treasure it always.

 _Perhaps,_ I thought to myself, _something good did come from this spell after all? I get to experience these happy times again with my new eidetic memory… I’ll never forget, now. Never. Grazie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! How’s life going for everybody? Sorry it’s taken so long to update. Life’s been a bitch lately for me. But things are lookin’ up. ^^ But that also means life will be getting busy. Regardless, keep an eye out for updates. For those of you who read my other stories, they will be updated within the next few days. I’m updating this story at the same time as HetaOni: Italy’s Story, so if you haven’t checked that out yet, go look! >:D


	12. Chapter 11: Alone

The next memory came up. Lovino and Feliciano were sitting in the living room, their mother asleep on the chair by the fire.

“We’d just celebrated our 48th birthday.” I said.

“Vino…? Is momma asleep?” The still 8-year-old asked. Lovino glanced at his mother, and nodded his head. Feliciano turned and looked at his mother with a critical gaze, which looked far too old for a face so young.

The nations, too, looked at Emma. Her once youthful appearance had given way to age. Her hair was thin and grey, and her face had many wrinkles and sunspots. Her laugh lines and worry lines were the most prominent. She looked so old and frail. It seemed to happen so suddenly, but the nations knew they’d just been avoiding seeing it. It was always that way with humans—they grew old and died.

“Momma… she looks so _old_ , Vino… I don’t think she has long.” Feliciano said quietly.

“Wh-what are you _talking_ about, Felice!? Of _course_ she has time! She’s _mom_!” Lovino whispered back viciously, refusing to accept that he would lose her soon.

“But she’s _human_. Vino, _look_ at us. We’re eight. We’ve _been_ eight for _decades_ , now. She’s already 80. Humans don’t usually live that long… And her hands shake so much, Vino. She can’t even sew anymore! She’s falling asleep so often now, and I… I’m scared… I really don’t think she has long…” Feliciano whispered sadly.

“I… I’ll keep my promise. I’ll always be here for you, Felice. Even when she goes, I’ll be here. Okay? But… She’s _mom_! She’s not going anywhere for a long while!” Lovino said, getting up. “Come on, Felice. Let’s head to sleep.”

“Okay, fratello…” Feliciano said as he slowly stood up as well.

The scene changed again, and we paled drastically upon seeing our favorite foods spread across the table. “This is our 50th birthday.” Romano said quietly. The nations sensed that it wasn’t a topic open for discussion, and wisely said nothing.

“Happy Birthday!” Emma smiled, as she greeted the sleepy-eyed twins. We watched the montage of our perfect day. We got our favorite foods. We played our favorite games. It was the most perfect day imaginable. Feliciano even made a light snowfall to play in. And when night came, Emma gently tucked them both into bed, and sat there, singing a lullaby to them as they fell asleep to her running her hands through their hair, carefully avoiding their curls.

_Little ones, shut your eyes,_

_Listen to my lullaby_

_Angels sweet, don’t you cry,_

_As I lay with you this night_

_Precious ones, rest your head_

_You are safe within my arms,_

_As you dream, gentle minds,_

_Together for all of time._

**_(A/N: The lullaby is up on Youtube. The link is in the A/N.)_ **

She kissed them both goodnight, and—for the first time in the memories—spoke in Italian. While she’d spoken it many times already, she hadn’t spoken it in the memories. “Sogni d’oro, my sons. Always remember that I love thee.” She said, kissing their foreheads again, before she slowly backed out of the room. There was a sense of finality as she closed their door; a single tear ran down her face.

The scene changed again. It was early morning, the very next day. The house was quiet as the twins awoke. Too quiet. The nations and twins were both on edge.

“Vino…” I whispered, knowing what memory this was.

“It’s okay…” He muttered back to me, also recognizing the memory.

“Ve…” Feliciano said upon awakening.

“Chigi.” Lovino replied, smiling softly to his twin.

“Vino? Isn’t it a bit quiet?” Feliciano said, anxious. He could sense something off.

“Yeah…” Lovino said, before sniffing the air and climbing out of bed. The two of them made their way to the kitchen, and froze upon seeing it untouched.

“Mom’s not up yet…?” Feliciano questioned, worried.

“I… guess not… Maybe she slept in. Let’s go check on her.” Lovino suggested, not bothering to hide his own worry in front of his twin.

The nations watched as Feliciano and Lovino headed towards their mother’s room. Opening the door, they found her still asleep in her bed.

“Mom? You okay? You’re usually up by now…” Feliciano trailed off, “Mom?” He and Lovino headed to the bed.

“H-hey…” Lovino started, very pale, and shaking. “Sh-she’s not breathing! Call the doctor!” He cried.

Feliciano was quick to comply, running as fast as he could to the nearby town to call the doctor. The doctor came only to tell them that she’d died in her sleep, peacefully, of old age.

“O-old age…? Bu-but! We still need her!” Lovino said, crushed. Feliciano didn’t want to believe it.

“Y-you’re kidding, right? S-she’s not dead… She _can’t_ be! She’s _mom!_ Mom’s strong! She can’t die!” Feliciano started to cry, “she can’t…” Lovino hugged his brother, as the doctor apologized, and left.

“Oh, Italy…” Germany sighed. The nations looked at us with pity and sorrow. Only America, Canada, and those who _knew_ what it’s like to lose a mother, gave us comforting looks and smiles. We didn’t want pity. We didn’t need it. Our younger selves didn’t want pity either. They just wanted their mother.

The memory changed yet again. It was night, and voices could be heard outside.

“Oh, Dio! No! I don’t want to see this again!” Romano cried, as I started trembling.

“Lovi? Ita? You okay?” Spain asked, drawing the nation’s attention to us.

“No. We’re not. This… this is about 8 months after the last memory… Those of you with sensitive hearing should cover your ears when we warn you…” Romano said, shuddering as he tried to stop my trembling, though he was shaking a fair bit himself.

“W-we made a mistake.” I wince at my choice of words. “We… We let people know we didn’t age… We forgot to keep moving after our Mother died… They thought us demons… devils… And the fact that Mom lived to be as old as she did… They thought she was some kind of witch.” I trembled harder, as a few nations paled at the implications of my words.

A few townspeople snuck into Feliciano and Lovino’s room as they slept, being careful not to wake them. Suddenly and without warning, the men jumped the twins, tying them up.

“Oi! What the fuck?!” Lovino yelled, already starting on bad habits of cursing.

“VINO!” Feliciano cried, as they started dragging him away, only for a man to kick Feliciano in the ribs. He spat up blood.

“FELICE!” Lovino yelled, angry and scared.

“If you’re wondering why I didn’t freeze the ropes and break free… It’s because I had my power limiter on. I frequently had nightmares, so I slept with it on so I didn’t cause a snowstorm in July or anything like that… I quickly learned from my mistake. Through my panic and the limiter, I couldn’t remember how to access my powers.” I said quietly. Nobody replied.

Asher growled menacingly before he charged at the man who kicked Feliciano. The men were understandably scared. Asher was a very large wolf, after all, and even with as old as he was, he was surprisingly agile and lithe. Another man brought down his iron pipe on Asher, who flew into the wall hard. With a strangled yelp, he fell to the floor, still.

“NO! _ASHER!_ ” Feliciano and Lovino cried. After all Asher had done for them? He was a precious member of their family. The nations cringed at the horrid sight of the memory. To lose their mother and then their companion so soon after one another?

“You _heathens_ shall kill no more!” A man cried, “We know you were responsible for Old Man Harggin’s Death!” He continued, “He wouldn’t have made such a mistake on the farm! You killed him! We know it! You unaging devils!”

The scene phased into another one. One that made the nations blanch sheet-white in horror. Feliciano and Lovino were tied up to a stake, and the villagers were just holding out their torches to light the pyre.

“Burn the devils!” Someone cried, causing cheers to erupt from the crowd. The pyre was then lit. The flames danced closer to a terrified Feliciano and Lovino. Feliciano, however, was tied ever so closer to the flames than Lovino, as well as downwind.

“I’d cover your ears now…” I said, already covering my own ears, alongside Romano. The nations numbly followed my advice just as the flames started licking Feliciano’s feet.

He tried to be brave. He tried to be strong. But it soon grew to be all too much, and he let loose a bloodcurdling scream. Every nation winced, horrified at the sound. Feliciano struggled as hard as he could to break free, as did Lovino as the flames reached him and he, too, started screaming, but they were tied with thick rope, and their wrists and ankles were held together by chains. Chains that were now glowing red-hot.

Romano and I winced, wishing we could rub our wrists as our scars started to twinge, but we dared not uncover our ears for fear of losing our hearing. Prussia, too, seemed to wince in sympathy, already pale white, as if understanding the pain of being burned alive. _He’s a left-handed albino. He probably does._ I reminded myself.

It seemed to last for _hours_. The screaming never stopped. It just kept _going_. Nobody, man, woman, or child, seemed to care. In fact, they gathered around to watch in glee.

America felt sick. This was too much like the Witch Trials. Only Mexico and Canada—and a handful of states—knew that he, himself, had been caught up in those, too. He had almost been burned at the stake as well, but instead was tossed into the river to drown. He was lucky he had his extraordinary strength; otherwise he would’ve had to wait until someone fished his body out of the river to come back to life again. But watching Feliciano and Lovino burning like that… And then the thought that it almost happened to him, as well? That it _nearly_ happened to one of his states? His _children_?! He felt beyond sick. If he weren’t covering his ears right then, he probably would’ve held a hand over his mouth to hold back the bile. Instead, he swallowed it back down.

Then, when Feliciano and Lovino’s legs were blackened and charred and the flames were already halfway up their bodies, a familiar wolf leaped into the flames.

“No way…” England whispered, but nobody could hear him, as they were all covering their ears. Asher, howling in agony, fought his instincts to flee from the flames, and bit through the ropes that bound Feliciano and Lovino. He could do nothing about the chains.

Feliciano, upon recognizing that Asher was in the flames as well, felt something within him snap. His necklace shattered into a fine white snowy powder as a shockwave of pure icy energy erupted from his body. The flames froze, and the chains broke, but every living thing remained untouched. Feliciano and Lovino crumpled to the ground, no longer having anything holding them to the horrid pyre.

“A-Asher…?” Lovino’s voice was hoarse and bloody from screaming himself raw. Feliciano was in no better shape. Their legs were useless at this point, and they were hardly coherent.

“T-The devil has unleashed his true power!” A man cried, coming out of his shock at Feliciano’s abilities.

“They’ve enlisted the help of the wolves! Kill them!” A woman yelled. Asher, if wolves could have expressions, would’ve looked urgent. Feliciano and Lovino seemed to know what he wanted, and grabbed onto his fur. The faithful wolf dashed away from the enraged villagers at full speed, carrying Lovino and Feliciano with him.

The road was rough and uneven, and the twins cried out in agony as every little bump and jar aggravated their injuries. There was also the added pain of any dirt, sticks, rocks, roots, and whatever else was littering the forest floor that brushed against their legs, literally rubbing them bloody and raw.

Eventually, they came to a cliff. Asher was panting, obviously badly burned himself. The villagers were catching up, and they had no place to go. Below them was a deep canyon with a fast-moving ravine at the bottom, much like the one Feliciano fell off of decades before. They had only one choice. One of the villagers shot an arrow, just as the wolf made his decision.

Asher jumped.

The three of them fell, screaming and howling down the impossibly deep canyon, landing, by some _miracle_ in the water below, just as the villagers reached the cliff-face. The memory blacked out.

“Wh-wha?” Germany couldn’t form a coherent sentence.

“That was good dog.” Russia said sadly, knowing that Asher’s injuries were too grave for him to survive without modern medical treatments.

“Si… He was…” Romano said softly. He was particularly fond of Asher… We both were. Asher was like another brother to us. He was famiglia.

“I hoped I was the only one.” Prussia muttered, but everyone heard him.

“What was that, aru?” China asked. Prussia only sighed and lifted up one of his pant legs, revealing a nasty burn scar.

“As a child, I was also thought to be a demon, because of my white hair and red eyes.” He let the pant leg down. “I lost track of how many times I was burned and drowned.” Nobody said anything, but Germany was likely the most shocked out of everyone.

The memory then came back; a little hazy at first, but then it cleared. Feliciano, Lovino, and Asher were lying by the riverbank, presumably far, far downstream, seeing as they were out of the canyon. Asher had apparently dragged the twins out of the river.

“Ungh…” Feliciano was the first to wake up, before he started crying in pain. “V-Vino…” He struggled against his screaming vocal chords and harsh coughs.

“F-Felice?” Lovino asked, also coming to. Then they heard a whimper, and saw Asher; an arrow snapped off in his midsection.

“Asher!” The twins cried, dragging themselves to the last member of their perfect family. Asher whimpered, and licked their hands, almost as if apologizing to them. He had used up all his strength to save them. He closed his deep sapphire blue eyes, and died.

“NO!” The twins cried. First they’d lost their mother, then they were burned alive, and now they’ve lost their last family other than each other. They were weak, scared, and hungry. They were in pain, mourning, and tired. They were cold and wet. But most of all, they were alone.

A rustling in the bushes snapped them out of their shocked and sorrowful stupor. A pure white wolf stepped forward with five pups. She gave them a cursory glance, as she cautiously sniffed them from afar. She then saw Asher. She bound over to him, and nuzzled him, before howling in the most painful, grief-stricken howl the nations had ever heard.

“They were mates.” Romano explained. “Those pups are Asher’s kids.”

The puppies then stumbled forward as well, to mourn for their father. After a few minutes, the she-wolf turned her golden gaze to the twins, staring as if trying to convey an important message.

She then yipped, and the puppies came running. Three were Asher’s coloration, one was pure black with golden eyes, and the fifth was a reddish-brown color that matched Lovino’s hair with bright green eyes. The green-eyed pup hesitated, before yipping something back, and bounding over towards the twins, standing in front of Lovino with an expectant gleam in his eyes.

The mother and her four other pups stopped and watched, as Lovino stared at the pup, not knowing what to do. The mother growled a warning, but the pup just sat down, as if to say, ‘I’m staying whether you like it or not!’

Romano and I smiled, remembering this. Lovino hesitantly stretched out his hand, stopping centimeters away from the pup’s head. The pup then pushed his head forward, touching Lovino’s hand.

Lovino and the pup yelped in surprise as a shock ran through them.

“Did you just…?” China asked in awe.

“Si. That is Asher II, my Bonded.” Romano stated proudly.

The memory blacked out there, fading to the darkness as Lovino had this soft smile on his face. “We’re not alone anymore, Felice…” Lovino said faintly before the darkness took over at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 2,749  
> Pages: 6  
> Date Uploaded: Friday, August 19th, 2016
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I’ve had a lot of things going on in real life, including work, family, and paying off student loans (HELP!!!! Anyone have a few thousand dollars lying around??). Anyhow, thank you to everyone who reviewed and read the last chapter, and I look forward to hearing from you guys on this one! ^_~   
> I almost uploaded the wrong chapter. Oops. Haha. I’m just glad I remembered you guys already knew about General Winter.
> 
> So yes, Emma is dead. She was human, though, so it had to happen at some point. Asher was a hero. His son will help to carry on that legacy… Hopefully. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and maybe even shed a tear or two. :D See you all next chapter! 
> 
> ~SilvermistAnimeLover


	13. Chapter 12: New Arrivals

“Okay, dudes. We need a break.” America announced. I honestly agreed with him, and it looked like everyone else did, too.

“Alright. Everyone in favor of heading back to the Pocket Dimension I created earlier?” England asked. Many nods and affirmative noises were made. “Very well.” He started chanting in Latin again, and with a flash we appeared back in the same living room area as before.

 _Was it really only a few hours ago? It feels like years…_ I thought to myself. I faintly felt something stir in the back of my mind. I froze. _Oh, HELL no! He’s not waking up again!_ I thought to myself, praying silently that he’d just go back to sleep. The feeling went away again. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Veneziano? You okay?” Romano asked.

“Si. I was just thinking… We’ve seen so much already, and we’re only through our _first_ childhood.” I said.

“Speaking of which, do ya mind cluin’ us in on what to expect in the next chapter of your life?” Prussia asked, kicking back in a relaxed position on the couch, taking up the entire thing. Germany elbowed his brother. “Ow! The hell, West?!”

“Be a little more sensitive!” He chastised.

“Well…” I was about to tell them a little bit, when a flash of light blinded us all. It looked _exactly_ like the light that brought us here. When it died down, two figures stood in the middle of the room.

 _Oh, fuck no! I didn’t mean it seriously!_ I cursed fate in every language I knew.

“Where are we?” Hungary asked as she looked around at the stunned group of nations. South Korea looked just as mystified.

“Ita?! Oh! You’re okay!” Hungary lunged for me, wrapping me in a gentle, motherly hug. I smiled and clung to her. I may not have wanted her there, but she was very much appreciated.

“Does anyone know what is going on?” Yong Soo asked, looking at myself and America in particular.

“You might wanna sit down for this one.” America said, gesturing for the two new arrivals to sit down.

“Well… Where to start…” England then went on to explain about our situation.

“Wait…” Hungary said when he’d finished. “You’re saying that we have to watch _all_ of Ita’s memories from childhood to present?! That’s not right! You have to stop this!” She yelled, indignant.

“You really have the _worst_ luck, you know that?” South Korea looked at me with sympathy.

“No kidding.” I replied with a tired sigh.

“We’ve tried. There’s no way out.” Romano said tiredly. “We’ve already gotten through our first childhood, and—”

“ _First_ childhood?! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Hungary looked so lost.

“Fuck. I don’t want to explain everything again!” Romano yelled, pulling at his hair.

“Ve~ Fratello~ You shouldn’t pull at your hair like that. You’ll go bald!” I warned him.

“I don’t care! Nations can’t _go_ bald! Look at China! If he isn’t fucking bald after 4,000 years of nationhood, then _I_ certainly won’t go bald after 2,000!” He turned to Hungary and South Korea.

“Fine. I’ll explain the bare minimum. Any details, you’ll have to get from someone else.” He said, before launching into a bullet point explanation. He told them about our mother, the circumstances of our _premature_ birth, how I wasn’t supposed to exist—which nearly gave Hungary a panic attack—how we didn’t get along well (he glossed over the murder attempts), bullying, Asher, the whole sickness and poison being our weaknesses thing, how we’ve almost died, like, 5 times, the whole General Winter fiasco—for which I demonstrated my abilities, much to their awe and amazement—our mother’s death, being burned at the stake—nearly giving Hungary a panic attack—and finally Asher’s death and Romano’s bonding to Asher the Second.

“Wow… just…” Hungary was in tears. She charged towards me, and clung to me like no tomorrow. “OH ITA! I’m so sorry you had to go through all that! You never–! And then–! When you were with us–! OH! And Romano, too!” She couldn’t stop sobbing. South Korea looked at my with a helpless shrug. _Clearly, I’m on my own with the Death Hug of Doom._

“Ve…” I gave her a soft smile. “It’s okay. It’s all long past. It happened over two millennia ago, remember? We’ve moved past most of that stuff.” I said.

“Sooo…” Prussia trailed off, obviously wanting something.

“Oh, right. You wanted a little warning of what’s to come, right?” I remembered.

“Fuck. You came at a fucking _great_ time.” Romano said sarcastically.

“Our teenage years are next.” I explained with a grimace. “We… we weren’t exactly ‘model citizens’ if you catch my drift. We were street-rats. Nearly got our hands cut off for stealing on multiple occasions. There’s also… Well, you’ll see… I… let’s just say that if we didn’t connect to our nations when we did, we’d be very, very different than the Italy and Romano you know. The streets hardened us. We _were_ the Mafioso.”

“The _mafia_?!” Germany cried out in shock.

“Si… Oh, right, you didn’t know… Well, I’ll save you the headache. Felice and I have been Dons of the most powerful Italian Mafioso since its birth. We’ve killed many to protect our famiglia, and control the criminal underworld of our nation; even today.” Romano said. The room seemed to go catatonic.

“Uh… Vino…? I think you broke them…” I trailed off, blowing a bit of ice-breath in Japan’s face. He blinked, but did nothing about the tiny tendrils of frost spreading across his black hair. _Huh… He usually handles it so well, too. Maybe it’s because he’s on overload with everything he’s seen today? Must be it. After all, he’s dealt with the Mafioso personally before. He already had his suspicions after seeing us in the field. He runs his Yakuza the same way we run our Mafia._

“Huh. Whoops.” Romano shrugged, but still looked at the others with interest, waving a hand in front of Spain’s blank face. “Well, we’re heading to bed. ‘Disturb us and die’ and all that shit.” He said with a flippant wave as he walked to the stairs. “Oi! Veneziano! You coming?” He asked, looking back at me.

“Si~ I’m coming, Vino~ Ve!”

“Chigi.” With that, we walked up the stairs and into the same room we used before. Unknown to Romano, I kept listening to the others while pretending to sleep. It took them a full hour to snap out of their stupor and follow our lead to bed. I slept easily that night, listening to the lulls of their heartbeats and breaths. I was quick to fall into the land of nightmares carved from my own memories, haunted by gunshots and shadows and the scream of a young girl who never got the chance to live. I shivered in my sleep. My dreams did not bode well for the future memories…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry it’s been forever, guys. I now hold 2 part-time jobs, and I’m in the market for my first place. I’m low-income, so it’s proving to be very difficult.
> 
> I also apologize to everyone for the shortness of this chapter. I’m currently working on Chrome Shelled Hetalia, and it should be updated very soon! :) After that, I’ll try to get the next chapter of Memories of Old up. 
> 
> To Guest Reviewer Hertha: thank you for the information. Also, while I appreciate the lullaby thing, the one I use in the fanfiction is one I created for this story specifically. I hope to soon put the music up on Youtube as well. It’s called Emma’s Lullaby, and since I made it there’s no need for me to worry about copyright infringement. ^_^ 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your reviews and patience as well as understanding. I’m going through some difficult times, and you are all amazing! :D 
> 
> Pages: 3  
> Words: 1,166  
> Uploaded: 01/08/2017


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